You know those days, where everything's fine and dandy, your job is great and you're making a killing and then your boss comes along with possibly the biggest opportunity of your career. Well for me that day was today, August 21st, 2017. I reflected heavily on my latest assignment as I dyed my hair blonde, blonde would be essential for this job. my targets were always people that deserved it, people that were abusing power, abusing others. This man if you could even call him that was certainly in that category and if I succeeded I could make so many people so happy and potentially save my country from the path of ruin this man had it on. If I was caught however, my cover would be blown and I'd have to go into hiding for the rest of my life. Even as I told myself to sleep on the idea, I knew in my heart that I wanted to be the one to kill this man.
The first part of the job was easy, almost laughably so. Within the first week I had a job in his office and had met him in person. He was every bit as misogynistic and unprofessional as I thought he would be. How this man ever got to his position is still absolutely beyond me. Nevertheless, I charmed him, or at least Katya, the alias I had chosen charmed him. He quickly decided that I should be the one to bring him his coffee, after all, that certainly wasn't a man's job. This was the opportunity I was waiting for.
I started slow, I mean, I wanted to draw this out. Unlike my previous kills, this one had to be subtle. At first it was just a touch of arsenic in his coffee. After three days of vomiting, he asked his precious little Katya if she knew of anything that could help him. I told him that some Hemlock and quail salad would make him feel better and that quail would be an elegant meal for someone of his standing, making sure to stroke his already overinflated ego. I even found some internet sources about the health benefits of this combination. Of course this was utterly false and I had made up these sources myself. Although quails were immune to the effects of Hemlock, which they ate frequently, in humans it would cause the muscles to weaken and deteriorate to uselessness within a few hours. Although he would likely lose his sight, his mind, what little existed of it, would stay alert until he died which would be within six hours at most.
I didn't stick around after he had eaten his salad and told me again that it was delicious. I simply cleared his plate, slipped into the nearest ladies room and put the plate and cutlery into my purse. I then slipped into the HR office and removed all evidence of my having worked there and then slipped away from the large house, relieved that his wife and kids were not due back from New York till tomorrow and that they had not visited while I had been working there. Katya no longer existed and I could go back to my life with enough money from this kill alone, to finally retire.
It made the 10pm news unsurprisingly. "Donald Trump found dead in his office". No evidence was found to suggest it was a homicide and he'd pissed of the healthcare system enough for them not to care about a proper autopsy. His cause of death was ruled to be a heart attack and the celebrations of his untimely demise went on for days.
I had made America great again!
