Author X

The Opening

As I sit back and drink a glass of red wine I reflect on the life that I have lived and I think to myself, quite eventful. I thought I could live with the secrets that I have held for 16 years but turns out I was wrong. The outcome of trying to keep things hidden is daily guilt. This type of guilt is the one that eats at you day by day. This guilt is the one that gives you the devil and the angel on your shoulder or the little voice inside your head that you keep hearing. Hear I am trying to fix my wrongs, even if it is to late. The quote I believe is " Better later then never" so here it is. My dirty laundry.

The year was 2001 July 8th I believe and it was the year I had claimed as mine. The year that I let change my life.

The day party that was happening in no other then sunny Los Angeles was the setting for this scene. As I walked in and looked around to scope everything out my eyes fall on guy about 6 foot 2 inches. His brown skin glistened in the sun and his eyes were a beautiful dark brown. I took one more glance and walked to the mini bar to the left me. Now I am not a big drinker but giving the circumstances I felt it was right. I walked around the house to mingle a little bit. You see I'm new to California so I don't know a lot of people but that was going to change. As I continued to walk around a little bit I stopped at a big window and it has a great view from it. I stood there in thought for about 5 minutes when I felt I tap on my shoulder. I began to turn around it was greeted by a great smile. I smirked back and said "Hello".

He responded back with "Hows it going". We continued to talk more and I found out his name was Raheem. The name rang a ball but I couldn't put my finger on it so I just put it in the back of my mind. Time went by and we had talked the day away. I liked his vibe and I know he liked mine too.

" You know I saw you looking at me when you walked in, why didn't you say anything?"

I looked down and smirked, I couldn't help it. I told him that I was shy but really I wasn't, making the first move was just not a thing for me. I then asked "Why didn't you walk up to me?" with a curious look. I was told he had to think about how he would approached me. I half way believed it but then again I didn't. When I decided it was time for me to go. He offered a ride and I took it. I honestly was interested on where it could go. As we got outside he opened my door. "Thank You," He smiled. The ride was very smooth and tension was in the air.

"What are you feeling right now," I asked. "Honestly" He looked at me and in a very smooth tone said " I want you." I looked over and took a look in his eyes. I couldn't tell in which way he wanted me. He could see I couldn't read him and it was fun for him. Just when I was about to ask a question my phone rang. It was my best friend Camilla. I ignored it and she texted me.

"Raheem hasn't text me all day, I can't take him no more" That's when it hit me. He was my best friends ex. They dated on and off for 3 years and I guess they were trying to get things together. This was the first time she has brought him up in months.

I quickly put my phone down and looked at him thinking to myself what do I do. I can't hurt her but what she doesn't know won't hurt her.

This is where the secrets begin.

Signed,

Author X