Chapter 19: broken trust

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"Come on." Tristan said as he pulled away and walked me outside. "Tristan I can't talk, I have to go." I replied as I wiped the tears away and winced, it hurts to wipe my eyes because I have been crying so much. "Go where?" Tristan asked. "Tesco. Rachel asked me to go." I replied and he shook his head. "You're in no fit state to go to Tesco, ask her to do it." Tristan said and I sighed. "Brad is being an idiot right now." Tristan continued and I nodded. "He promised me he wouldn't drink anymore, I even tried to stop him last night but he wouldn't listen." I explained and he nodded. "I know." Tristan replied as he started to walk me back to my dorm, I looked around to see that Brad was nowhere to be seen. He walked with me back up the stairs and I unlocked the door to see a very confused Rachel standing in front of me as I took my shoes off. "That was a quick trip." She replied. "She's not going, she's not in the right state of mind to get food. Can you go for her?" Tristan asked as he stood by the door. "Yeah, sure. Sorry I just thought it would be a good idea for her to get some fresh air." Rachel explained and Tristan nodded. "I know, she just needs some time. She literally stepped out of the door and Brad chased her down the stairs." Tristan explained. "Oh." Rachel replied as I walked over to my bed and sat down. "I will see you later Hayley." Tristan called out and I nodded before Rachel closed the door behind her.

"Are you ok?" Rachel asked as she sat next to me on my bed. "He didn't even know." I replied as a tear fell down my cheek. "What?" Rachel asked. "Brad didn't even know that he got drunk and kissed Jasmine." I explained and Rachel looked confused. "He can only remember up to when he sat with me last night, after that is all a blur to him. He didn't even remember kissing Jasmine, to him it never happened." I continued and Rachel shook her head. "That boy seriously needs a slap." Rachel replied and I sighed. "It scared me to see him earlier, why am I scared of him?" I asked and looked up a little. "Because he hurt you." Rachel replied and I slowly wiped the tears so it didn't sting.

*knock knock*

"I'll get it." Rachel said and I nodded before she walked towards the door. "Is Hayley in?" I heard the familiar voice of Brad asked before I heard a slap. "Ouch! What was that for?!" Brad yelped and I just sighed, he did deserve it. "For messing around with my friend, how dare you get drunk and kiss Jasmine after telling Hayley that you were over her and the addiction! What is wrong with you?!" Rachel asked, I got up from my bed and poked my head around the corner just enough so that they couldn't see me. Brad had his hand on his cheek from where Rachel had slapped him and for some reason Rachel slapping him made me feel a lot better. "I'm sorry! I didn't even know I did any of that stuff which is why I'm here now, I have come to apologise to Hayley." Brad explained. "You think an apology is going to be good enough? You have broken her heart and she hasn't stopped crying since she saw you kiss Jasmine last night!" Rachel shouted and Brad removed his hand from his cheek. "And you can't even say that you did it because you were drunk because Hayley tried to stop you from drinking and you didn't listen to her! How can you say that she is the reason why you stopped drinking and then drink right in front of her?!" Rachel shouted in anger. "Please stop having a go at me, I feel bad enough as it is." Brad asked quietly. "Good!" Rachel replied and then went to shut the door but Brad put his foot in the way. "Let me close the door." Rachel asked. "Let me talk to Hayley." Brad asked. "Why do you think saying sorry is going to make any of this better, I'm sorry Brad but she is going to need a little bit more than 'sorry'." Rachel explained through the gap in the door. "She deserves the world." Brad mumbled and looked down at the floor, Rachel opened the door slightly and sighed.

"You need to stop getting drunk Brad, it's upsetting you and your friends but most importantly it's upsetting Hayley. You know she has never ever fallen for a boy before because she knew she would get hurt and she trusted you with everything, she let you into her life and you just used her." Rachel explained. "I know." Brad replied. "Can I at least ask her if she wants to talk to you first?" Rachel asked and Brad nodded, she closed the door and I saw her walking over to me so I sat back over on the bed. "Is it ok if Brad comes in?" Rachel asked, I looked at her and then looked at the floor. "I'm scared of him Rachel..." I replied and she sighed. "I'm going to sit on my bed over there and I'm not going to move so if he tries anything I will be right there with you." Rachel explained and I sighed. "Fine..." I replied as the nerves started to kick in and my heart started to hurt again.

I saw him walk in behind Rachel and I shuffled towards the other end of the bed, Brad sat down on my desk chair instead of on my bed which made me feel a tiny bit better about the whole situation. "Hayley, I'm so so so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you in any way at all, I was drunk and like I told you drunk me likes Jasmine... I hate that about myself... You know that I don't like her and you know I have been trying with my addiction, it's just that last night I saw all of that alcohol in front of me and I couldn't help myself. I feel like such an idiot because you are one of the best people in my life right now and it's killing me thinking that I might now lose you because I was stupid." Brad started and I just looked down at the duvet covers. "You hurt me... And now I'm scared of you..." I mumbled and a sad look spread across his face. "Hayley, listen to me. I NEVER wanted to hurt you and I never want to again, please don't be scared of me because you mean a lot to me." Brad replied. "I have a right to be scared of you, why would I want to be your friend when I know you can just turn into someone else completely when you're drunk." I explained and Brad sighed. "I wish I could show you how much I care about you and how much I really don't want to hurt you." Brad replied and I sighed. "Well you've blown it..." I mumbled and looked at him to see a tear fall down his face.

"Hayley, please let me make this up to you..." Brad asked. "How Brad? Are you going to take me on another date or play me another song? Are you going to tell me I mean everything to you? None of that matters Brad and none of that is going to change how I now feel about you, you've scared me and hurt me when I trusted you. To think that I was going to tell you about my personal life..." I replied and Brad let a few more tears stream down his face. "What if..." Brad started and then stopped which made me and Rachel look at each other. "What if I take you out on a date... And if you are still scared of me and you still don't like me then I will leave you alone for the rest of your life. You will never have to see me again and that hurts saying that because I never ever wanted to hurt you and I never want to let you go, you mean too much to me. But if I haven't changed you're mind about me after this date and you're still upset then I will let you go, all I want is for you to be happy..." Brad explained.

I looked at Brad and then looked at Rachel, what on earth am I meant to do now...

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Hey guys, so I thought I would update twice today as I haven't updated for a long time. I'm sorry that I haven't been updating everyday, I have been a bit busy recently. I hope you are enjoying my story and thank you for reading!

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