Help me survive

1. I am just fine

The glass in my hand almost fell as I tried to run up the stairs. Nothing new, I guess. That's how life was being as a hyperactive spaz as Derek liked to call me. Derek Hale, the alpha of our pack of werewolves and other supernatural creatures. And me, a stupid, 17-years old boy, Stiles Stilinski.

Life hadn't always been kind to me. My mother died when I was young and my dad, the sheriff, began to drink. We rarely talked anymore, but everyone else thought that we were close. Nobody knew what was happening in my life, what was happening in my head, but that was just the way I wanted things to be. It was easier that way. 

My thoughts got interrupted by the sound of my phone going off.

From: Sourwolf

Pack meeting at my place at 7.

Pack meetings were usually at Friday, but Scott had sensed something supernatural at school, so I figured we needed to discuss that.

To: Sourwolf

Do I really need to come? I have tons of school work.

That was a big fat lie, but Derek wasn't here and couldn't hear my heartbeat, so it was okay. I was just tired. When my dad began to abuse me, he told me that I deserved the pain I felt, that I needed to feel it. That's what I said to myself the first time I held a blade to my wrist. I always tried to avoid hurting myself before pack meetings, because damn those supernatural noses that could smell the hurt, but because I wasn't aware of this one, I had already made a few cuts to my wrist.

From: Sourwolf

Come. I would like to talk to you after the meeting. 

He knew that I wouldn't stay home when he asked me to come. I tried to calm my nerves by telling myself that they wouldn't notice the hurt in my smell and even if they did, they wouldn't care. This was probably Derek's plan to kick me out of the pack anyway.

"Dad, I'm going to Scott's! He needs some help with homework" I shouted as I ran downstairs. No answer. He was probably already passed out in the kitchen, so he wouldn't care if I came home late. 

It was only a fifteen-minute drive to Derek's loft, but I still managed to be late. The pack meeting had already started when I walked in and everyone was staring at me as I stood at the door.

"Why are you late again and don't get punished for it? Unfair!" Jackson said annoyed. Usually, Derek was mad at everyone who was late, but he didn't care about me. I wasn't an important part of the meetings, so it didn't matter if I was there or not. 

Jackson had always been an asshole towards me. He had bullied me at school for years, but I didn't care. Nobody besides Scott knew about it. 

"I'm sorry" I just mumbled and sat down on the sofa.

"It's okay. I'll fill you in after the meeting" Derek said. He looked at me a little longer than usual and I grew even more anxious than before. He was probably just annoyed at me, nothing else.

The pack meeting didn't last long. We decided to start figuring out what creature we might be against, but we didn't know much about it yet. More research for me! I stood up with the other when everyone started leaving, but Derek grabbed my hand and I froze.

"What did you want to talk about?" I asked, trying to sound as confident as I could.

"I just wanted to ask you how you were doing. You seem more quiet than usual and your smell is off" he said. I couldn't believe that he was the one who had noticed that. 

"I'm doing just fine. Nothing wrong with good old Stiles, just a little stress" I tried to laugh it off, but I knew he wasn't buying it. He didn't say anything, just started to sniff the air. Damn werewolves, what was wrong with them.

I almost started to laugh but then Derek's nose got closer to my wrist and I froze. He was still quiet, just lifted the sleeve of my shirt. I couldn't do anything, just stood there.

"Stiles...why?" he just asked.