Klangst One Shot

Leave me

Keith's pov

Lance and I had been distant for a few days. It's weird, since he almost always tries to sneak into my room while everyone else is sleeping so he doesn't feel lonely. He ends up making me his teddy bear... and I'm honestly okay with that.

Back to the matter at hand.

Lance was never like this. Ever since we started dating, he hadn't wanted me to leave his side at all. I even listened to what he told me to do a couple times. But, he's not even letting me attempt to hold his hand anymore. He won't let me get close enough. I knew it was time to say something.

We were in the kitchen with Pidge and Hunk when I asked him if we could talk privately. The other two instantly gave me a look that I was terrified of. They knew what was happening. They gave me a sympathetic look. All the fear is felt for these past days was starting to well up in my gut and explode into my lungs, blocking my breathing.

Lance lead me to his room and closed the door, guilt clear on his beautiful face. I wanted to hold him. But I knew he didn't want to be held by me.

"Keith... I really did think I was starting to feel something between us but I...I can't stop thinking of you as a friend.. I'm sorry but I can't keep dragging you on, thinking that I feel the same way you do. Fuck I'm...im so sorry Keith.."

I felt like someone had stabbed me in the gut, and was continuously twisting the knife as I attempted to cough out words.

"H-hey, its fine Lance...I understand. I'm just glad you were honest with me" I gave him a slight smile, but I could feel it wavering. I needed to escape from this.

"You're not upset?" He looked a bit shocked, but relief seemed to flood over his features.

I guess I should go with it. He needs to keep smiling. That pretty smile.

"No,no, really, it's fine... I need to go ask allura about something though, it's pretty important. Galra stuff."

"O-oh! Okay! Well uhh.. seeya Keith" he gave me one of his gorgeous genuine smiles, brighter than reds fire. I left the room hastily, but not in a manner that would alert him to my true feelings.

Where's the bathroom.

After I'm out of lances sight I bolt towards the bathroom, tears starting to well up in my eyes. I slam myself inside, making sure the door was tightly secured, before bending over the bowl and letting my stomach empty. Tears, mucus, vomit and traces of blood started to pool in the toilet bowl, but I would not let myself be heard.

It's for his happiness.

For him.

My bleeding lip (from biting it so hard) has stained my whole bottom lip red, my eyes stinging and aching with a throbbing pain. I wish I could scream. But I can't let him know. He can't be aware.

I rip off my jacket, feeling warmth start to drag itself up my body, and I wrap my arms around my middle as I once again empty more of my stomachs contents into the sink. The smell makes me continue until I'm painfully dry heaving, and I've ahead too many tears to continue to cry.

I hang my head over the bowl, heaving in air before covering my mouth with my hand to sob in silence. My eyebrows furrow, my eyes close, my lip quivers. I hold back my yells. Everything feels like it's falling apart.

Three days later.

Lance looks happy, but I've never felt worse. The rest of the team act like I don't exist if I'm not with lance. I'm the loner, like Pidge said. All this conflict. I'm supposed to be the leader, yet, all of my opinions and plans get shut down the moment they're made. I don't let them see how much it effects me. But let's just say there's not many training robots left, and that I'm glad there's no carpet in my room. I haven't taken off my jacket around them in days.

I never want them to see me like this. Vulnerable. Weak. Not 'Keith'.

Why should I care what they think anymore?

A few more days.

They've lost all respect for me. I snapped at Pidge while we were eating (they were eating, I was observing). I didn't know Hunk could get like that. That angry. He was in my face. Shiro didn't even try to stop him. I don't get why I brought up Pidge's brother. I guess I was just mad.

Lance asked me why I was being so hostile towards the group. Stupid. It's them being hostile. I brought up his insecurities. He quickly went quiet, and lost that pretty smile. Then everything went black.

Hunk had punched me out cold.

I woke up to no one in the healing pod room. I fell out, almost hurt myself. They're sure to have seen the damage to my body I caused.

When I walked into the control room, they all stared at me.

Hunk looked ready to attack.

Pidge looked upset and hurt.

Allura looked terribly mad.

Koran copied her gaze.

Shiro was looking at me sympathetically.

But lance.

Lance gave me the most hate filled glare of his life.

He protectively stood close to Pidge, and wrapped his strong arms around her. She hugged back.

Hunk narrowed his eyes at me.

"We still need a while to even consider forgiving you, so don't even think about apologising yet." His voice was a vicious growl, and I gently nodded my head.

Few more days.

I haven't left my room. The door isn't even locked, and no ones come to see me. No one wants me here.

Lance doesn't want me.

My team doesn't want me.

I don't want me.

Screw it.

I stumble weakly out of my room, no ones in the hallway. I slowly make my way to the escape pod bay, and pull myself inside. I decided not to bring anything with me. I won't need anything.

My dull eyes fix themselves onto a figure near the entrance to the escape pod bay. Blue and white. I close my eyes and the pod launches itself out of the ship, soaring into the nothingness of space. I haven't gone far before I see Red shoot out from the ship.

Sorry lance.

Red may be fast.

But I think I'm faster.

Lance's pov

I couldn't even fathom what had just happened. A smile from keiths tired and thin face, his hair almost dipping into his vision. The scars on his neck, his arms, his legs. His ripped up nails. Bruised and battered knuckles. His tired eyes.

Gone.

I never meant for any of this to happen.

Hot tears roll down my face as I watch the debris from the explosion swirl away from its source. I can feel Red's terrifyingly powerful sadness. She's mourning. We both are.

I guess I loved him after all.