The contract I signed

Him

Why is he so....amaz...no....I can't have a boyfriend! I have to take my school work seriously! It's not like he would even be interested in me. I mean he is a popular! I'm just the a shy, depressed, geek. He would never choose to be with me....I'm just me.....
"Why are you staring at that popular?" I turn to see my best friend. She's....well...loud. "WHAT NO...you must be seeing things!" It doesn't look like she bought it. "Never in the history of ever as Alex Morgan liked a boy! Are you sure that's you in there?" Typical, just typical. "I don't like him I have to focus on my grades. NOT BOYS!" She stares at me for a moment, and leans in. "What about girls?" I shove her away "Stop May your always doing pranking me like this, go back to your boyfriend!" She walks Of and laughs. Oh my gosh she's so childish! But she's also my best friend. I turn my attention back to my homework.
I feel the warm summer air sweep against my back. It's after school, I'm sitting at my favorite spot of campus. I'm sitting at a table outside the library next to the school. School just started so it's still warm outside. Perfect weather for studying outside. I lean back and look up at the sky. It was a very light blue color, and there wasn't any clouds in the sky. I mumble to myself. "If only I could stay here forever." I hear a familiar voice coming from over my shoulder, it startled me but I didn't look to see who it was. I just looked up and admired the sky. The seat shifts letting me know that whoever was talking to me sat down next to me. The person begins to talk "Do you do this everyday, I mean sit here and look up at the sky?" I look over to see who it is, and I say "No I usually do my homework here." Then I realize who it was. It was him, the guy I....no I don't like him! "Oh right so today's just special then?" "Oh uhh I guess so?" Why do I sound so scared? What's with him? There's something different about him, but what is it? He started to talk again "So what's with it... you know the sky. Why do you like it so much?" I can't tell him why exactly he'll think I'm a weirdo. "I don't really know why...there's just something about it.....most people would probably say it's beauty but I don't think it's that." I look over at him again. His blue eyes were brighter than ever. Why is my heart beating so fast? "So what do you think it is then?" I quickly look away. Why am I blushing!? "Well I guess....it's...how it has the ability to completely change from what it is to what it actually is, or maybe it's how empty it is." I look back at him. He looks confused. I knew that this would happen. I skewed everything up again, just like every time I'm worthless, hopeless. I quickly get my stuff and run inside. I hear him call out to me but I push it to the back of my mind. My heart won't stop beating, and every short breath feels like a stab. My mind starts racing. Worthless, alone forever, kill me, never good enough, tired........tired, my body is tired. I can't take this anymore! I run into the girls bathroom. I sit in the corner. Why can't I just I curl up and disappear! My best friend burst through the door. "Alex! What happened? You where having a normal conversation then you run of." I want to cry but I can't. "NOTHING, nothing happened! I...can't...brea-th....he..lp....ple.....Everything goes dark.