The Busted Girl

CHAPTER 18: SO THERE I WAS...BROKEN BADLY :'(

(  Eloisa's POV )

    " Kay hirap naman ng lagay ko

        hindi pwedeng manguna sayo.

        I can't help but remember you Baste...sigh!

       Bukod sa menstrual cramps, gender discrimination,unwanted hairs sa katawan,pagtaba,pagpapaganda...eto na yata ang isa pa sa mga hirap na kailangan pag daanan ng isang babae.

     Ang ma-in love...haay! ng hindi mo pwede basta basta i express sa taong yun kung hindi siya ang gagawa ng first move..

     Ano bang mali sakin? Why can't he just say...I Like you too Eloisa? Ganon ba talaga kahirap yon?

     I'm just being true to myself and to him...as well...For me every second counts...kaya kahit awkward..I know...courting a guy is really awkward...but...the hell I care!!??

    Eh sa dun ako masaya!

    My happiness does not rely on them..

    Sayang nga lang at nataon pa na he's not feeling well on the night that could have been our first kiss! That kiss ? aarrrrgh!!! Kainis na Andrew yon! such a maniac!

   " Eloisa...magaling ka na ba?"

    That voice!!! I can't believe...first day back in school siya ang maririnig ko!!!!

     " Yes Basty?!"

   I can't hide my smile as he approached me. Yeah right...tama sila. Baste is not that kind of guy na hearthrob material...He's simplicity..pagiging shy type...but smart and honest...walang pretentions at sincere sa pag aaral...yun...ang mga qualities that attracted me the most...and that Andrew is really...way too far!

   " Pwede ba kita makausap? Sana yung tayong dalawa lang..." he said while smiling.Ang cute ng smile niya...parang si Coco Martin!!! Yun yon eh!

    " Sure? I mean...are you sure..just you and me?"

    Wow this looks exciting!!!! baka finally this is the moment I 've been always dreaming of! haaay!!! kilig much!

   "Oo Eloisa.."

   " O..oof course...let's go at the park..you remember? Sweet Heavens ? There..come on let's go

.....at the park

    We found a peace and quiet place..tapos na ang school hrs.kaya wala na masyadong tao sa store..Siyempre humanap ako ng medyo private spot..yung tipo bang kung gusto niya ako i smack! haay! anu ka ba Eloisa..behave! hahaha!

    But...wait...tama ba tong nakikita ko sa mga mata nya?

   Sadness?

   B..bb..but why?

   " Baste are you ok?" I carefully asked him.

    " E.. e...Eloisa..did you ever had something so precious..so important in your life but you don't wanna spoil it..don' t wanna see it ruined by your own hands?" he told me while he gently hold my hand.

   Those words made me ponder...Why? What does he mean by that? Is he trying to tell me that I' m someone precious ...someone important now in his life? OMG !! He likes me now!!!

   " Y..yyes..Baste. I certainly have...something so precious that I will do everything to keep it in my life...and...that is ...You." My cheeks turned blushy after saying that..

   " Eloisa...that's not me..and that is not going to be me... I'm sorry..."

    Huh?

    Am I hearing it right?

    Is he telling me that....I...CANNOT...keep him in my life?

   " Te..te..teka..Baste..I..I..tought you said..I mean..."

    Suddenly my tears started to fell down as if they are alive and can understand him right away..but me? I..I still can't...

   " Eloisa...sana maintindihan mo...masyado pa tayong bata para sa ganito..Maganda ka..mabuting tao...wala akong maipipintas sayo..Pero sa sarili ko....hindi kita kayang pangalagaan.Wala pa akong kakayanan..Ayoko lang na....na..umasa ka...Maniwala ka sakin..I'm doing this for your own good. "

  At this point I cannot see him clearly  because of the tears flowing out from my eyes..He's gently wiping those tears but it's useless...it won't stop.

   "Good for me? How could you say that? Para mo na akong inalisan ng kasayahan ko...kaligayahan ko..Are you pushing me away? Magagalit ka ba sakin if I will continue this madness?" I asked.

   and he said...

   "No. Eloisa..but I guess wala na kong choice kundi..."

   " What?"

   " but to leave this place..." he said as tears fell down from his eyes also.

     I then started thinking...no! he's not leaving.. I'd rather keep these feelings for him in my deepest thoughts...in my dreams..than lose him out of sight.

    "No! Hindi ka aalis! May mga pangarap ka at hindi kakayanin ng konsensiya ko na dahil lang sa pagiging....childish ko at obsessed sayo...masisira ka...Now I understand what you mean....Sorry...sorry!! sorry din if ang slow ko! so..soorryy!! I won't bother you again! Ju..just stay...Please...Baste.."

    Then I started running away.I ran while letting my feet decide where I have to go..and there I found myself at home..in my bed...crying...broken badly trying to be strong. Paano na kaya ang araw ko bukas? Paano na ko kikilos sa harapan ni Baste now that He dumped me.