Anonymous

Chapter I

I am destroyed from the inside out . Inside out. Surprisingly I'm not dead, or from as far as I'm concerned. I force myself to raise up from my position with my 'man hands' and place my face in between the arch of my two knees while wrapping my arms around the front of my legs. I pull my legs tighter until it's difficult to breathe.

Still in between my knees, I managed to control my breathing. Breathe deeply.

In through the nose . Hold it . Out through the mouth.

In through the nose. Hold it . Out through the mouth

•••

I wonder if you can imagine being a girl like me. Then again, if you knew about Adrian, you'd know why I'm screwed up in relationships, in friendships, in me... Look what he manipulated and destroyed in me. LOOK AT ME! I don't have anybody anymore; they all abandoned me. Or was it I who abandoned me?

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Birth certificate:

Kayleigh Johanna Downs

November 3, 1995

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K.

Just call me K. I despise my name that was forced upon me without my approval. Those wretched bitches that kicked me out the house have become invisible to my eyes. Every aspect of them is loathsome and scornful. You wonder why I would make such despicable remarks on behalf of my 'parents', but once again, people react differently to circumstances. Horrible circumstances.

You see, it wasn't majority of my wrongdoings. Adrian, my ex- boyfriend and ex baby-daddy I suppose, manipulated my naïve personality and transformed me into his bad bitch as he would classify me. I should have realized at that moment that he was the 'typical thug' and his "respect" could only go so far, but my defiant, obstinate manner is a massive problem for me.

Innocence .

A guilty pursuer of the human race. How could I have possibly knew what innocence's deadly venom injected inside me, suffocating my conscious to no end."