Under the Influence

The Decision...(Imagine 4, Part 2)

"Well, Marshall overheard Alaina say she loved me, and that I'd said it back".

"That's so cute" Amy gushed.

"It was, but then Marshall said he couldn't wait for us to have our own, and of course in typical Cassie fashion I freaked out".

Jordan tutted and rested her hand on the side of her head. "I thought he already knew".

"He did. Well he does, but I think he'd just forgotten. Or tried to convince himself it wasn't true". I shook my head and pushed my food away, not in the mood for the rest of it anymore. "What the fuck am I meant to do?" I mumbled, asking no one in particular.

"I have no idea babes" Jordan sighed. "It's such a difficult thing to get past or come to an agreement on".

"Is it a deal breaker?"

"For him it is" I nodded, inwardly cursing at the tears that slowly began to roll down my cheeks. Pull it together for fucksakes.

"Don't cry Cassie" Jordan begged, instantly looking like she needed to cry herself. We are connected in so many ways, that we honestly could feel each others emotions. It's like we're twins.

"Sorry" I apologized, wiping my eyes on my sleeve. "I just- I don't know what to do" I sobbed, letting the tears flow for what felt like the thousandth time in the last 12 hours. "This can't be the end".

Amy looked at me sadly, but tried her best to hold it together. "Then don't let it be".

"How?" I sniffled.

"If I had to guess Em is the most important person in your life". I nodded sending a sorry smile to Jordan but she just shrugged and winked back at me, a silent mutual understanding between us. Of course we were best friends for ever, but our partners? They had become our everything in the last year or so. "So then you have to decide what's more important. Sticking with the same, maybe outdated, idea you've had all your life and losing the one person made just for you, or letting yourself become vulnerable, already knowing how great you are with Marshall's kids, and having it all? It's up to you".

"I can't believe I'm about to say this but...Amy's right".

Amy nodded and shifted back into her seat, done with her duties. "Mull it over. But don't take too long, you've gotta let him know you care".

"Damn, right again! Amy girl you are on a roll!" Jordan exclaimed.

"Okay okay" I laughed, wiping all reminders of my tears away. "I'm done, let's get out of here".

*****

I groaned and turned off the T.V in frustration. Nothing was capturing my attention. Everything was too boring. It was late, Jordan and Mike were in bed and I was mulling over whether to call Marshall or give us both time to think liked I'd promised myself. I pushed my pride aside and eagerly dialed his number, leaning back onto the bed head.

Please pick up. I need you.

"Hello?" he groggily answered.

"Hey" I mumbled. Why did I suddenly feel so shy?

"Why are you calling so late?"

"Oh I'm sorry". I couldn't hide my disappointment. Usually he was excited to get a call from me. "I didn't think you'd be asleep. I just wanted to talk".

He sighed loudly into the receiver. "Nah nah, it's good. What'd you wanna talk about?"

"Nothing in particular" I twirled a loose piece of thread in my spare hand. "Just wanted to hear your voice".