Long vents here, uh oh

Indirects

The first person in my life.

Uh, well, you've done some bad shit to me. You made it hard to sleep at night. I didn't know when you would burst. I had nightmares when I did and I couldn't bring myself to tell you that they were about you. You killed me two years ago. When I told you I was suicidal that's when you blew your shit. That's when everything was pointless and grey. Awful and shitty. I couldn't look at my friends. I couldn't look at my teachers. I couldn't look at Jake. I was so sad and it was your fault. I know you're doing better now but... You made me want to die and being the person you are you should've never ever done anything like that.

My first love.
I forgive you and I want to stay friends and stuff. But I'm angry with you, not at you. I think it's really shitty what you've said about me and what you didn't say to me. I'm so so so so dang sad about you. I don't really miss you as a relationship or maybe at all. I want you to be happy but idk. You really hurt me but I hurt you just as much and I'm sorry.

My first enemy.
You are a really shitty person, you know that? You're an attention speaking whore. All you ever did was steal the spotlight by one-uping me. And everybody tells me to stop saying you stole him from me but you fucking did. You always took his side and always invited him to shit and not me. You always took my place and you really hurt me. I never did anything to you and one day you told me if I didn't say I was sorry that you were gonna kill me. You say that you didn't say that but I remember what that note said. I was fucking terrified of you even though you were and still are smaller than me because you knew where I lived and you're a big enough psycho to actually follow through with murder. I hate you so damn much and it's because you tried to change us to fit your needs and I was right and nobody believes me. Because everybody likes you even though you're the most unlikeable person I've ever met. I've tried to be nice but that's not happening anymore.

My current enemy.
You weren't going to make it on this list. I was going to excuse you and stop being petty but... you disrespected my mom. My mom only said hi to you and you glared at her and she told me she could feel the hate. I could go on about why I hate you but disrespecting my mom is something I can't get over. Square up bitch, I'll sit on your head.

My current love.
I get so damn scared when you use short word answers and things like ":P" because it really made my last relationship a living hell. I get so scared because I think I'm annoying you or you don't want to talk to me shjdjdjdj ily tho