Attraction - temporarily available

Chapter 10

We were alone again, sitting in Lara's library that was far too ordered to be in use. Tom had a laptop in front of him on the wide oak desk, typing a few words every now and then. The slight crease between his eyebrows begged to be smoothed out, but I didn't dare touch him.

"She's available on Saturday," he said.

It was all too real. Tom had taken it upon himself to ask for a marriage officiant on short notice, and he'd found someone with a good reputation. I swallowed hard, regretting my actions for the hundredth time. I'd almost hoped we wouldn't find anyone, but then there was this tiny ember of hope inside me that still wanted a taste of Tom. It was all terribly unhealthy for my sanity.

"That's awesome." I smiled with my entire face.

The frown deepened. "And you're still adamant on doing this outdoors."

"Yes." I dreaded to be inside a boring city hall with no wind to blame if I shed a tear.

"I'm not doing it in some park here in the city."

"That's fine. I don't care where we go as long as it's outside." That he was doing this at all still surprised me. In fact, I had a hard time rationalizing why he was doing it at all. Chris had said Tom was loyal, but could he really be doing this just to make Lara happy? And why the hell did Lara care anyway. I was a nobody with hopes and dreams but no guts to make anything happen.

"I'll check with Lara," Tom replied. It was always Lara this, Lara that, but I had no right to be jealous.

Afraid to show him how shaken I was by all of this, I smiled wider, nails biting into my palms. "So who are we inviting?"

"You tell me."

Our gazes met, flickered, wavered, held. "Well, Chris and Dante, of course. I guess we won't get away from inviting Lara. Then there's Adam and Cameron. What about you?" I wanted to ask him about his family, but I wasn't sure I could open that box of secrets just yet. If I asked him about his family, he would inevitably ask about mine.

"That should be enough witnesses."

"I'm sure Adam and Cameron will take pictures, so we'll have more than enough evidence. We'll just have to make sure we look properly in love in front of the cameras."

Tom closed his eyes, and I could swear he was counting down silently. I knew I should have stopped with the teasing, but I had no other way to interact with him. Not if I wanted to stay in control.

"Let them know it's on Saturday," he replied after a while, not saying a word about photographers. He was good at ignoring things he probably wished he hadn't heard.

In a way, he was all wrong for me. Rarely smiling, often closed off as if he wanted nothing more than to be alone. It was impossible to imagine us together, but I couldn't stop pining after him. It was stupid. We didn't even know each other.

I sighed softly, leaning back. "I will."

The silence crept upon us, careful at first until it reached that critical point where it sustained itself. Tom's attention shifted from the laptop, and there it was, that brittle connection between us that always scared me. It only happened when I lowered my guard, and I hated it. I hated how Tom wouldn't stop searching for everything I wanted to keep to myself.

I wasn't ready.

* * * *

Days blurred together. There hadn't been enough time for meticulous planning, rather it had been forms to fill and people to contact.