“No!” I exclaimed trying to hide the fact that I have in fact thought about it. I mean, of course I’ve thought about it. What girl doesn’t think about doing that? But have I actually acted upon my fantasies? Nope. Jimmy nodded and gulped some of the amber drink before looking down at me again.
“Do you want to?” Jimmy asked curiously. I moved my gaze down to the floor before trailing back up to watch Frank playing pool with our newly found friends. “–Do you love him?” He added.
“Am I that obvious?” I asked looking back up at Jimmy. He nodded carefully and frowned slightly. “–We’re just friends, though.” I told him, reassuring Jimmy that nothing is going to happen between us. Jimmy looked at Frank and wore a smug expression.
“Friends don’t look at each other like you two look at each other.” Jimmy said flatly. I had no idea what he was talking about. Frank and I look at each other like normal people.
“He’s right, y’know.” Rae added her two cents cheekily. My eye brows fell together confusedly but then I remembered our conversation a couple days ago. It felt my heart aching.
“Frank,” I whispered softly, trying not to wake anybody up.
“Yeah?”
“Do you ever want to have a family? Like get married and have kids?” I questioned sincerely. I really wanted to know why my best friend is so afraid of making a mistake. People make mistakes, it’s human nature.
Frank’s gaze got lost in the longing darkness in front of us for miles and miles that we couldn’t see. His lips pressed together lightly, shifting his hoop piercing and his nose scrunched upwards making his nose ring adjust the position from the one it’s been in for so many hours.
“I used too but now I think it’s best if I don’t.” Frank lightly replied with a soft voice. I frowned slightly and stared at my best friend for a long moment, thinking. My eye brows fell together curiously.
“What if it was with me?” I asked, wanting to know. I knew I’d never get to marry or have kids with Frank, even if I wasn’t going to bed dead by September I wouldn’t do that. Or would I? I don’t know, my feelings towards Frank are complicated. I want him to date but as soon as he gets a date, I get jealous and they break up. But as soon as someone says we should date, I get defensive and shut down.
“Eliese, if I could I would have married you a long time ago. But then again, I don’t want to hurt you. You mean too much to me for me to lose you.” Frank’s words made me feel terrible about the whole dying thing. He needs me in his life. He needs me to bring him sunshine until someone else can. He needs me to be his best friend.
“What about Jamia Nestor? I hear she really likes you.” I offered him a girlfriend, knowing that everything I just said is true. She has a huge crush on Frank and they’re close friends so it’s not like she’s completely new to his life.
“Jamia? No way, I mean, I like her and all but, I like someone else at the same time and I like them more than I like her.” Frank babbled on like a clumsy fool. My eye brow shot up slightly as I stared at him, intrigued.
“Who is this mystery person?” I asked curiously.
“Nobody that concerns you. Besides, she is way out of my league.” Even in the darkness I could see blush settle on Frank’s cheeks and a charming smile brighten the night.
“Is it Rae?”
“What?! No. I mean, Rae is nice and all but, Gerard has his eyes set on her. Anyways, I see Rae more as a friend than a girlfriend.” Frank babbled.
“Well unless it’s your mom, my mom, or one of our teachers.” I guess cheekily. Frank cackled at the thought of dating one of our female teachers or my mom then he made a disgusted face at the incest remark I made.
“No. I can assure you, it is not any of them.” I shrugged and chewed on the tip of my thumb nail mindlessly.
“Well then, I don’t know, you don’t know many females; unless it’s me.” I shot at him coolly with a cheeky grin. I watched as his bodily form shrank into the back of the seat as he kept his eyes on the dark road ahead. My heart stopped as I realized Frank wasn’t kidding when he said he’d marry me. He has feelings for me. Oh shit. He has feelings for a dying girl. I can’t let him do this to himself.
“Oh no, Frank, if we’re gonna be friends we can’t be those kinds of friends. I mean, like, I like you alot as well but, I don’t want things to get weird between us.” I explained to him calmly.
“Of course. And that’s why I don’t want to marry anyone, I want to marry you but you don’t want to marry me so I’m gonna die alone.” Frank nattered coldly.
“Face it, Eliese, you love him. Why not be happy with him?” Rae pushed me into doing something I’ve wanted to do for a very long time. And with the amount of drinks I’ve already pumped into myself, I was fearless. I set the pint of amber drink down on the ledge and effortlessly left the safety of my small group and glided across the room to where Frank was laughing happily. His diamond hazel eyes found mine. I filled in the gap between us and wrapped my arms around his neck. My heart was racing and my mind was full of confidence. In that moment, I pressed my lips against his soft, warm lips; the lip ring was cold and sent shivers down my spine. At first he was surprised by my actions but after a second I felt his hands band aid themselves onto my sides and his lips begin to force back against mine. I figured since I was going to die at the end of the summer, I might as well die happy.
Chapter 14: When I First Met You.
Start from the beginning
