Dear Mum

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Dear Mum,

I am going through hell. You might not see it and it may not show but it is still there. I want to tell you. I need your help. But I can't simply ask for your help. Its not that easy. I want to tell you everything but i can't. I'm scared you won't understand, you would think I'm exaggerating, you would think I'm a drama queen or an attention seeker. I'm not! I want help, I need help, I need you! I want you to come to room when you hear me cry. I want you to be able to see if I'm okay or not. I need you to be there even if I don't want you to. I try to act tough when I'm really not. I want to cry but I can't. My tears have run dry. But when I have more tears to spear, I waste them again. This feeling is like falling down a black hole. You keep falling deeper but you never touch the ground.  But when you get to the ground you die from the impact. That is suicide. Mum, I need help and i need you to be there.

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