Targeted by the past

Chapter 1

Natasha POV
Weak. Pretending to fail. Sloppy. You have no place in the world. Kill. Monster.
Weak. Pretending to fail. Sloppy. You have no place in the world. Kill. Monster. Monster, monster...
I woke with a start, sweating profusely. My throat is sore, no, no ,no - I must have been screaming. I hope no one heard. They can't know about my past. The Avengers are like family but they still can't know. Fortunately, Tony has given us each a floor. They shouldn't be able to hear. My throat is still dry so I drink the glass of water, which is beside my bed before checking that my gun is under my pillow. My hand finds it and I breathe out. I always feel safer when I have a weapon. It can't kill the nightmares but at least I feel protected. I turn my head to read the clock . 2:11 is the time on it, great only 2 1/2 hours of sleep - at least it is more than last night.
I know I won't fall back to sleep. Red room haunt my nights and the memories are to awful to ignore. I get out of bed and hop into the shower after getting unchanged. After my shower I get changed into my workout gear and grab a bottle of water. At least a punching bag will allow me to drain my anger out.
When I reach the training room it's 2:30 and I am positive no one else will be up. I head to the punching bags and begin. I forget to wrap my hands but I am not bothered.
I punch and punch and punch, anger bleeds out in each punch. Thoughts, memories from my most recent nightmare flood through my mind.
Weak- punch - sloppy- punch - monster -punch. But am I? I have done so much bad but I have also done good. This thought sticks in my mind for the next few hours as I continue. However, I don't realise it has been hours until Clint walks in.
"Are you coming to breakfast?" He asks, whilst leaning against the doorframe. I turn my head and a questioning look crosses my face.
"It's 8:30 Nat, you do know that?" He asks. Oh! I've been here for 6 hours.
"Yes, sorry just a bit flustered - I thought I had something on." I lie through my teeth. My façade is up so Clint won't realise - I hope. Suddenly, he walks in and gives me an angry look.
"Nat, did you forget to wrap your hands?" He asks. I look down at my hands and they're quite bloody and a little swollen.
"Yeah, I must have. I will go and get changed and bandage them and meet the rest of you in the dining room." I says as I grab my water bottle and head out. Clint nods in reply and holds up 10 fingers. Ok, I should take less than 10 minutes. Once up in my room I bandage my hands and change. I make sure I have my gun and a knife because you never know how breakfast will go with a god, a super soldier, a billionaire genius, a man with serious anger issues and 2 assassins. In 3 minutes I walk through the dining room door and all the other Avengers are sat at the table stuffing their faces.
"Hey, red." Says Tony. I give him a glare, he knows I dislike the name. I go and sit next to Clint and grab an apple. Thor is shovelling his face with pancakes as are the rest of them.
"What happened to your hands, Lady Natasha?" Thor queries. Everyone looks in my direction apart from Clint. I relax in my chair and calmly say, "Just training." Everyone goes back to eating until Jarvis interrupts.
"Nick Fury is on the line, do you wish to answer?" A sigh goes round the room and then I say "Yes please, Jarvis." Clint looks at me with a little annoyance. He is enjoying the life here a little more than I am. I prefer to be in the field. He enjoys that to but he likes it here at the tower as well. A picture of Fury appears on the screen, which has descended from the ceiling."
"Hello, I have a mission for you." Fury informs us.
"No shit Sherlock." Tony says bluntly. All eyes are on him, all he does in response is shrug his shoulders. We all turn back to Fury who continues. All he says is one statement. A statement which I never wanted to hear.
"Red room are back."