A Love/Hate Thing (Complete)

Chapter 24

It was day 1 of my suspension and I was laying here tempted to call Chris but I knew I couldn't. We've had this up and down relationship and I don't know where I'm ready to end it or continue on this rollercoaster. My heart was telling me to call him, but my head was telling me to still be mad. And at this point I don't know which to follow.

I know I just need to forget all my worries because my birthday is next weekend, but its hard because I've been through ALOT. Chris is just another unsolved problem in my life.

I HATE MY LIFE!

I HATE MY LIFE!

I HATE MY LIFE!

That's all that is running through my head. Why am I always put in the tough situations?

I put my pillow over my face and screamed into it. Then I got up, walked downstairs, and ate some lunch. I turned on the TV and watched the movie Grease , it was the only thing on. After the movie went off I picked up my phone and contemplated whether I was going to call Chris. I finally built up the courage to click his name. It rang, and rang, and rang.

....

...

..

.

"Hello?"

"Chris can we talk?"

"Who is this?"

"Are you fuckin' kidding me Chris!? It's Sade!"

-END CALL-

I know this boy did NOT just hang up on me! This "thing" with me and Chris is definitely D E A D now! No returning to the loving side of me. He is straight dead to me. I hate him with everything in me (once again). I don't even know why gave him all these chances, I shouldn't have even gave him the first chance!

Hot tears started running down my face. I put on some brown wide leg pants, a white loose fitting shirt, and some brown Toms. I drove to the cemetery and found Eric's grave. I just stood there for a second.

"Eric I miss you. Why did you have to leave me? I loved you with everything in me. I'm so sorry for everything. Please come back to me, please. I need you. I can't handle any of this on my own anymore. I love you Eric, I love you."

Just then I felt someone rub my back.

"Hi Sade."

"Hey Mrs. Dunn, I didn't know you were coming here today."

"I just thought I would get up and come check on my boy today."

I sniffled and tried to smile "Yeah. Me too."

She hugged me "I miss him too, everyday."

I hugged her tight and let out little cries on her shoulder.

After a couple of minutes I walked back to my car and sat there and cried. It was probably an hour before I left the cemetery. I just sat there and watched Eric's mom until she left. I really don't even know what to do at this point.

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I know it's short, but hey it's an update.

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~ Maddy 😘💕