So here I lie on my death bed. How did it come to this? I feel so weak and betrayed, only death can ease the pain. Seven Dwarves, that’s all it took but now it's too late and death is almost certain. I bet your wondering how it got like this...
Once upon a time, in a far away land, I lived in a castle, a beautiful castle, everyone in the land was jealous because I was the princess people wanted to be. Sleeping beauty was old news and it was time for Snow White to shine! But unfortunately my dad decided to remarry, what a mistake! My new mum told more lies that Pinocchio, the only good thing was that with her she brought a magic mirror, diamond encrusted of course. Each day my step mum would waltz up to the mirror and say, "Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?" and of course it would reply, "You are your majesty!" Unfortunately one day, when I was looking extra fantastic if I do say so myself, the mirror replied," Snow White is your majesty; Snow White is the fairest of them all!" Well, steam exploded out of her ears and her feet began to stamp, this could only mean trouble for me!
As expected, later that day, the Queen's woodsman let me into the deep dark woods, as from other rumours I’ve heard it's not a good sign. I took one deep breath and waited for the woodsman’s axe. I suddenly realised that I was alone, the woodsman was a wimp! So I sat in the forest and waited for help, hopefully the woodland creatures would come to my rescue! All of a sudden the trees began to sway and voices sang out through the bushes and seven little men barged out o the darkness! "Hurray", I screamed, “I’m saved!" They huddled round me, promising help and food and then they held out there bag of goodies. Then the smallest cutest one pulled out a blade and screached,"Get in the bag biach!" So I had no other choice but to climb into the sack.
Just my look, psychotic dwarves find me in the forest. I seemed to be carried for hours until they dropped me and tipped me out. We were in a clearing in the woods, outside a cottage. Suddenly one of the dwarves strapped manacles to my hands and I was dragged into the cottage! There on the wall was Sleeping Beauty, half eaten and blood dripping from every inch of her. I saw one of the dwarves staring at me, he licked his lips and whispered, "Fresh meat!" Terror filled my body as I realised the danger I was. I told them that I would sew and mend their clothes but they just replied," Wench, are you calling us scruffy? We were going to let you cook our food, and maybe even try some as we have fresh meat that needs attending to!" At that moment I was thrown into a dark, damp cellar! "Oh gosh!" What to do!" I thought. I was trapped, no way to escape! No windows, no lights, just I and the rats and they don't speak much. I spied a small crack in the wall. It was night, so I decided to attempt some sleep. I wondered what the morning would bring...
I awoke with a start to the sound of galloping hooves, my prince had arrived! The dwarves would be vanquished and I would be saved, but life isn't that fair. Peeping through my hole, I heard a mighty cry of HI-HO; the seven dwarves pounced on my prince and beat him to death. They sang a cheerful tune as they dragged his bleeding, bruised body back into the cottage of death! Despair! Another Victim! Fresh meat! "Oh gosh, what will become of me," I thought. All of a sudden the door opened and I was dragged my hair in to the blood stained kitchen. The prince was there, disembowelled and hanging by from hook. "This is it", I thought. As I was going to take I my final breath the door flung open and there standing in all her glory, sword sparking, was my step mum! The sword began to move, seven dwarves hit the deck, blood and guts everywhere. She held out hand and helped me up and we ran through the door.
As we trekked through the forest towards the castle pangs of hunger attacked my stomach. I asked mu stepmother politely," Do you perhaps have any food" She held out a red rosy apple and I took a bite. I landed on the almost unconscious. That’s how I got here. Through the haze I see her lift a rock and I hear her say, “If you need a job doing do it yourself" And with that she drops the rock... And the Queen lived happily ever after.
