Darkiplier Smuts X

Mirror, Mirror I

I haven't heard anything out of Anti in ages, and as much as I hate him, I'm beginning to feel like he's got something up his sleeve. He goes dead quiet before doing something to you...dead quiet is what he's been, though I wish he was just plain dead. I've become quite the conqueror and liberator these days, and yet, he's still out there scamming, manipulating, lying, and thieving. Bastard. I don't worry about him doing something to me, I just dread having to deal with his bullshit. Almost twenty thousand years this guy has been a pain in my ass. I turned to Alkonost. "Whatcha reading?" I asked. "A book." I narrowed my eyes at her. "What kind of book?" "A boring one." "Great, so you don't mind putting it down and helping me out?" She looked up at me. "That depends on what you want me to do." "Well I always want you to do me, and we'll get to that later, but for now...I want to go and watch someone for awhile." She looked amused. "Who caught your attention now?" she asked, thinking I was asking her to play wing woman. "It isn't like that, Nost. I just need to check up on someone...something doesn't feel right." she sighed. "Alright, let's go." she said, standing up. We traversed down to the demon realm and took a little trip to see Anti. Last I checked, he still lived in the suburban area just east of the city. Prep. I saw Alkonost take the lead. "Where are we headed exactly?" she asked. "If you'd let me lead, I'd show you." She pointed at my feet, which were planted on the ground. "Start flying then, fuckboy. I always forget that. "Fuckboy, huh? I like it." "It suits you. You're the biggest fuckboy I know. You are with a different being every day of the week." "Every hour of the day. Get it right." "You need therapy." "I need a full body massage with a happy ending. Again. The one from this morning is wearing off." She just shook her head and followed me. "You're lucky I like you." she said. "You couldn't dislike me if you tried." "Hush." I chuckled. She knows I'm right. We approached the area I thought Anti still lived in and I was not at all shocked to see him talking to someone. Someone I thought I'd never see again. Incubus. I stopped and crouched. "Are you fucking serious?" I muttered. Alkonost shot me a look of confusion. I pat the ground next to me and she knelt down beside me. "These clowns? Who cares what they're up to?" "Currently, I do. I hate both of these dicks, and they hate me too. I have a feeling they're planning something against me. Oh goody, more bullshit, my favorite." "You're funny." Alkonost replied. I kept staring straight ahead. They were talking about something, smoking and kinda looking around. "You might want to duck a bit, your head is almost at the top of these bushes." she whispered. She reached out to try to push me into a better position and I slipped forward in the mud. The rustling of bushes was enough to attract the attention of my two enemies. I shot Alkonost a look. "That's gonna cost you later." I said. "Sorry." she replied. "Mhm, you will be. Meet me in my room in an hour." She slugged me. "I will but not because you said so." "That's what I like to hear." she disappeared, and I stood up. "I'd say it's nice to see you guys, but it never is." "The feeling is mutual. What are you doing here?" Anti asked. "What's it matter?" I replied. "It doesn't, it's just a little strange that you're creeping around in bushes, or as I like to call it, trespassing." "Call the cops. Oh wait, there aren't any." I said, crossing my arms. "No, we take everything into our own hands, don't we?" "You can take my dick in your hands, bitch." I squared up with him and he hissed at me. "You two are pathetic, you know that?" I turned to see Incubus. Hold on for a minute. Incubus is a fear demon, but...he doesn't scare people. He seduces them...he tears apart human relationships...and he can make himself look like anyone, and I mean anyone. In his natural form, he's just a ball of energy with eyes. It's trippy shit. "Who asked you?" I asked. "No one.  But does that really matter?" "Well, I'd like to think so. Stay quiet or go rip up some relationships. Let me beat his ass in peace." "Still have that infamous hot temper I see." "Still stupid I see." "I won't take that personally. What's said out of anger is irrelevant." This guy thinks he's a fucking philosopher or something. I backed away from Anti to take a look at Incubus. He just hovered in front of me being that stupid little ball of energy I so badly wanted to punt to the other side of the universe. "It's been a long time, hasn't it?" he asked. "Not long enough." "Don't be that way, I don't have any hard feelings toward you." "I find that hard to believe somehow." "It's true. In fact, I've always thought you were a pretty interesting guy...and your looks...when I morph, I copy some of your features, especially the eyes." "Flattery? Really? That's the best you've got?" "It's true." he said. "I just learned how to turn into you..." he said, morphing into a perfect copy of me. I snarled. "Don't. Do. That." I said. "Why not? This look...I can't wait to try it in the human world. It's sure to work wonders." Gah, this gives a whole new meaning to talking to yourself. "Just turn into someone else, alright?" I said. "For now, I will." "For now?" I asked, growing very suspicious. "Yes. You heard me." I turned to Anti who was nursing his bruised ego. "You little shit. I think I see what's going on here. You're gonna set this fucker loose in the human world posing as me." "And what if that's true?" Anti replied. "We are all going to get FUCKED if he gets caught." "And if he doesn't, it'll just be you who gets fucked. I like that." I pinned him against a tree. "Look, you have problems with me. I don't care. I have problems with you, too...but I don't pull this risky ass bullshit when I come after you. If he gets busted, we're all going down. That's a huge IF, Anti." "Relax, I work in the human world daily." I turned around. "I know you do, but you're going up there to fuck up my life, not to fuck up peoples' relationships. It's different. Way different at that." "Too bad for you, Arioch." I turned my attention back to Anti. "Too bad for me? Anything he does I can get out of...except if he gets caught." "I don't think he will, but even if he does, oh boo hoo, such a pity, Arioch will have to come back down here and live with demons. What a shame." I snorted. "That's the least of the problems that him getting caught would create. Exposure, grab a fucking dictionary and look it up. IF humans who aren't supposed to know about us find out about us, we are fucked. We will be so undeniably fucked. Like put your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye fucked. It will literally destroy the demon realm and a good portion at least of the human world." "I don't care, Arioch. I'm tired of you. Your life down here isn't what it used to be since you got the big H, and if your life up there goes to shit...that kinda leaves you fucked 6 ways from Sunday." I growled. "I still find it sexy when you do that." he taunted. Incubus looked at his watch (or is it mine?) and informed us that he had to get going. "Wait. Whatever he's doing for you I'll double it." I said. Incubus just snickered. "No deal, Arioch. If you want to stop me you're going to have to do it yourself." "I think he's scared, Ink." Anti said, smugly. "Scared? No. Not completely fucking stupid? Yes. I'm not gonna let you do this. You don't understand how risky this is...to everyone." "Aww, listen, he has feelings." Anti teased. "No, like I said, I'm just not completely fucking stupid. I mean have been fucking stupid, but the two of us haven't been messing around lately. Right, Anti?" He scowled. "Do whatever, but this isn't going to last long." I said. Incubus disappeared and Anti followed suit. I heaved a sigh. What a mess. I expect severe bloodshed, headaches, and a lot of work.