I Stumble, Then Fall

facing the truth (end)

Daichi stayed silent. "Oh, don't worry. I won't tell her of course. I won't tell anyone. I'll even pretend this never happened."

"Thanks, Suga. I appreciate it." How fucking shameless can you be.

"Yeah, let's... just go back and warm up, Captain."

He wants to forget.

--

He didn't forget.

The memory, out of all memories, showed up right away when he saw Suga. It was nice seeing him wear such a nice outfit. He looked good like this. The Suga he knows deserved the world.

The accident was fixed and the class was back on track. As a show of appreciation, sensei took both Suga and Daichi out for ramen.

"Such a blessing that you were still there to help us, Daichi-kun. I wouldn't know what to do without you!" The sensei claimed.

"Ah, I'm glad to help." Daichi sheepishly replied.

"And can you believe I met you here? I should've just called you," Suga added.

Daichi gulped the rest of his beer. "I'm always here for you, Suga."

That came out so wrong, oh my god. Daichi is blaming the alcohol for making him feel warmer than usual.

"Excuse me, I'm just gonna go get some fresh air," Suga said, although he was only looking at sensei.

Way to make everything awkward, Daichi.

"Would you mind if I go talk to him for a second, sensei?" Daichi said, but he was already standing up anyway.

"Not at all. Go catch up with him."

Daichi bowed before he left the table.

The weather was still gloomy even though it's almost midnight. As soon as Daichi left, the bells ringing signaled he was outside, making Suga look at him.

Daichi just went straight to it. "Can I join you?"

Suga lets out the puff of smoke from the cigarette. "Mhm, sure."

Daichi sat beside him, pulling out his own pair. He puts the cigarette between his lips and flicks his lighter on, but the wind from the rain blowing it out. He tried it a couple of times when suddenly-

Sugawara aligned the burning end of his cigarette on Daichi's.

Except, his was still between his lips.

Daichi almost coughed when Sugawara pulled away, removing the stick away from his lips.

"Pft, is this like, your first time smoking in a while?" Sugawara mocked.

As soon as Daichi recovered, he laughed a little. "Yeah, Michimiya told me to stop, but I guess old habits die hard."

It suddenly became very chilly.

But Suga doesn't seem to falter. "Since when did you start smoking?"

"After graduation..."

"Hmm... I started earlier than that."

Daichi choked. "Huh?!"

The reaction made Suga laugh. "It gives me a bad boy image now, huh?"

No, no, no, no. He can't even imagine... "Wha-when? How?" There aren't that many places to smoke inside the school grounds unless he skips class to go to the roof? He wouldn't have any access in any abandoned rooms either...

"Around nationals... I got it from a senpai I was dating, really. It's not that big of a deal..." Suga lets out another breath.

Ah, it was around /that/ time...

Daichi pretends to clear his throat, "Ah, Suga, you know how bad it is to smoke when you're a part of a sport. What a rebel you are..." No use thinking about that now.

"Daichi, you can't really be a hypocrite, are you?"

"In my defense, I'm only doing this when it's cold out. It makes me feel warm."

"It's not like I smoke three packets every day, though."

"You started earlier than me."

"Well, when did you start?"

A pause. "Hmm, around the time Michimiya and I broke up, probably?"

Then silence.

Daichi felt that they should both start something again. It was a selfish request that made him feel more shameless than before. This way, they can finally-

"I liked you since the very beginning, you know?" Suga said, his voice not wavering. "It felt nice being around you. It really was a nice feeling, but the longer it went, it felt so hard to feel that without expecting something worse after,

I couldn't bear knowing that you loved someone else."

Suga abruptly stood up, facing Daichi with his head held high. "I'm over you now."

--

The weather remained shitty the rest of the days Suga was there with his class. However, the lightness he felt after leaving the city was worth it. The unknown burden left in his heart somehow faded away. He felt okay.

He felt amazing.