rambling on

0.1 | the life of a perfectionist

[ 7.4.17 ]

everything must be perfect

all lines straight

all surfaces clean

every speck of dirt
right where it belongs

every molecule of oxygen
in its rightful place

or else

nothing can function

forget productivity
what does that even mean?

all thoughts go towards
that one thing
in the wrong

it could be as simple as
that one yellow stain
on the white blanket

that one color
that doesn't fit
with the rest

things that are meant to be
fun
turn into
chores
constant thoughts
on the mind

it's exhausting
i would know

we were designed
as humans
to be aware
of our surroundings
but not this aware

but it's not a disease

newsflash
medicine doesn't fix everything

let us
fumble
and
fix

let us
rearrange
and
reorganize

and maybe we will let you
reconsider

stop using what we have
as an excuse
to feel self pity

stop pretending
you understand
what it is like
for the world you live in
to be a constant burden

no.
we can't just
brush it off
that's not
how it works

if we could
don't you think
we would have by now?

so next time
something seems
a little out of place

think of me.