How it all Started (James x reader)

How it all Started

"Hi." he said pulling back from me.

"Hi. You look awfully happy for such an early time of the day."

"Well I am happy. Our plan is working!"

"Really? I'm not sure. I mean, yeah Sirius was shocked, but I don't think jealousy is the right way to describe it."

"Maybe not yet, but I'm sure that it will all fall into place."

"How can you be so sure."

"I don't know... I guess I'm just not ready to give up on the possibility that Lily could love me."

I smiled at him. James might be an idiot, but he never gave up and I admired that about him.

"So why am I here?"

"Just to hang out. I figure they'll think were snogging if we sneak off every once in awhile."

I laughed. "Yeah, I'm sure that'll work."

We spent about two hours just hanging out in the room of requirement. By the time we left, I knew more about James than before and I'm sure he could say the same about me. Over the next two weeks we would continue to do this. We would act all affectionate in public and then sneak off to play random games, plan pranks or just talk alone. As far as I could tell, Lily was confused as fuck and Sirius was just trying to be happy for his friends. I had never shown the slightest romantic interest in James. Now we were "dating" and it had pretty much shocked everyone. Alice even told me that she had always thought I would have ended up with Sirius at some point. I hid my smile and just brushed it off, saying that James and I had found this connection between us very fast and that we hadn't seen how alike we really were before.

Alice's comment was one of the last times I really felt anything for the gryffindor boy. Gradually, I stopped thinking about Sirius. I became more and more focused on James and all the time that we were spending together. The truth was, I did feel a connection. I wanted to be around him all the time. I got used to and loved when he would come up and put his arm around me or kiss my cheek. I missed him if I didn't see him until dinner and I would want nothing more than to hug him and run my hands through his hair. After I realized that I was no longer hung up on Sirius, I didn't bother telling James. I didn't think he would want to stop fake dating as he was clearly still stuck on Lily, but I didn't want to give him any reason to call it off. So I didn't. It took me a week to figure why. Why I couldn't stand the idea of us going back to normal. Why the thought of not having his arm around me while we walked through the hallways made me miss him even when he I knew he would be waiting for me outside the classroom. Why I didn't want to be with Sirius anymore. Why I couldn't stop thinking about the boy who had been in love with one of my friends for the last six years. When I finally realized that I had feelings for James, I felt like a fucking moron because of the amount of time it had taken for me to figure it out.

I couldn't tell James. There was no chance in hell that I was going to tell James. I wanted to, really badly, but he didn't like me and if he knew that I liked him, he would probably tell me that it was best we stopped with the whole act. I wasn't telling James.

One night, a few days after I had admitted to myself my little crush, Lily and I were in our beds talking and listening to each other in the darkness of our dorm. Every time I was around Lily, I felt guilty. She might not really like James now, but when James told me that he wasn't giving up, I could see the determination in his eyes and I knew that he wasn't lying. I was almost sure that Lily would love him back at some point, which is why I was lieing in bed talking to her and feeling awful about having a crush on a guy that she would probably be going out with in the future.

"So how's it going with James?" she asked, suddenly.

"Oh, um... it's good. Amazing actually. He's the sweetest guy on the planet." I told her. She showed no change in her expression, but that was all I needed to tell that something was wrong.