findingromeo.com

Aurelia stared out of the window wearily, chin resting in her cupped hands as sweat rolled lazily down her forehead. The intense summer heat hovered in the air in the absence of even a slight breeze. Time seemed to stretch out before her, delighting in her boredom and discomfort equally. She could feel her eyelids start to droop, and the fight to resist her heavy lids became more difficult as the end of the class drew nearer.

It wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy history, au contraire, her love and passion for the humanities was the reason she turned down a coveted position in the Chemical Engineering programme at the Massachusetts Institute Technology. Instead, she had chosen to major in history and English studies at Princeton, whilst figuratively dipping her toes into the fields of economics, philosophy and political science. It was just today, of all days, that her mind was awash with thoughts, drifting seamlessly in and out of her History of World Empires class.

Something caught her bright brown eyes as her eyes wandered out the window. A young man was holding his girlfriend’s hands in his, and even from a distance, she could see nothing but love flow freely between the two. He said something amusing clearly, since she burst into laughter, and punched him jokingly in the arm. He responded by sweeping her up into his arms and twirling her around, both of them in paroxysms of delight the entire time.

Melancholy settled in, deep in her heart. Longing for love, or even some sort of semblance of it, was what she spent the vast majority of her time doing. At 21, she was ashamed to admit that she had never had a boyfriend, and had never been kissed.

What was worse was the lithe, beautiful figure of her best friend, Corah, whose porcelain like skin and dainty, delicate features were a magnet for attention, a far cry from her bushy and frizzy black mane, complemented only by her thick spectacles, blemished skin and the extra 40 or so pounds she’d gained over the past couple of years.

She had tried to be okay with it, she really did try. After all, she was an intellectual, independent and free-spirited young woman, who oozed confidence and self-belief. Most of the time, anyway. But something within her defied her attempts at believing that she did not need a man to complete her, boost her self-esteem or provide for her. It was the 21st century, for the sake of all that is good and just, why on earth would she need a boyfriend? Yet beneath the icy exterior and façade of bravado, she felt lonely and miserable even in the midst of the greatest of friends.

Just as her thoughts took an even more miserable turn, the bell rang, signalling the end of the class. As she packed up her things, Corah bounded over to her enthusiastically.

“Lia!” she called out, gleeful. “Friday night? Date night?” Corah’s distinctive tone was instantly identifiable, even if Aurelia hadn’t seen her coming.

“Oh yeah! I defo need a girls night out,” Lia said gratefully, glad for the opportunity to put the depressing thoughts of the day behind her. She wondered why Corah didn’t have a date tonight. But this wasn’t strange. Despite her universal appeal to men of all ages and shapes, Corah had dated, but never been in a serious relationship – admittedly by her own choice.

They made plans to rent Dirty Dancing and Titanic and gorge on all manner of sinful foods at Lia’s house later that evening. Corah bounded off for some gym class or the other, and Lia decided to take a slow walk through campus before heading home.

She actively avoided the happy couple she had been observing earlier, when she passed a notice board that caught her attention. A large, glittery purple poster took up most of the space and blocked out all other attempted advertisement with the sheer ostentatiousness of itself.

Tired of waiting for love to fall into your lap?

Tired of being lonely and miserable while other people rejoice in their happiness around you? -

Lia took a moment to snuffle with laughter at the sheer coincidence of it all.

Scared to try online dating? In fact, not scared, but ashamed?

Well the solution is here, ladies. The first and only website that helps you find love, real love, without resorting to the trauma of online dating.

Try us, today. You won’t regret it.

After all, you have nothing to lose.

findingromeo.com

Lia was marginally intrigued. The idea played over and over in her head the whole way home. She stopped in the kitchen to fetch chocolate chip cookies and a steaming cup of coffee before heading straight to her laptop. After all, she reasoned with herself – she had nothing to lose.

Doubts plagued her even as she typed the words into the address bar: findingromeo.com.

But she was under no obligation to use the site, she was just investigating, she reassured herself.

A bright purple screen appeared, upon which black and glittery curlicue writing appeared:

Welcome to the rest of your life.

She tried to suppress the flutter of excitement curling in her tummy as she clicked on “Enter”. In the months that followed this life-changing moment, the only thought she would ever remember having would be, “Romeo was a stupid douche, I’m hoping for a Jack Dawson, at least.”

And so began the rest of her life.