"Are we there yet?"
"Ray, if you say that one more fucking time, I’m kicking you out of this monster and running you the fuck over." Geoff growled, his grip tightening on the steering wheel of the large eight-seater van. The men muffled snickers behind him.
"But are we?" Gavin asked, fluttering his eyelashes innocently from where he sat in the passenger’s seat.
Geoff sighed, cracking his neck. “No. We’ve still got two more hours.” Michael groaned from behind him, throwing his head back.
"Two more fucking hours? It’s been four hours already!" He whined, punching Ray when the younger man made little baby crying sounds.
"Blame Jack. He’s the asshole that thought a road trip would be better than taking a plane." Geoff groused and Jack let out an exaggerated gasp of offense.
"Hey! I figured it’d be fun and cheaper." He defended.
"I think we should blame Ryan." Gavin piped up, receiving a hum of approval from Jack.
"What! How the fuck can I be blamed for this?"
"Well, you’re the smart one! You should have told us this would be a horrid idea!" Gavin reasoned, looking back to smirk at the older man.
"Whoever’s fault it is, I’m so fucking done with this car. We’re in the middle of butt-fucking nowhere surrounded by cows and fucking corn, I’m stuck in a crowded car with a bunch of idiots, minus you, Geoff," Michael paused his rant to smooze and Geoff snorted. "What if we break the fuck down, huh? Then we’re gonna be eaten by fucking cannibals or something. Or worse, cows!"
"Cows don’t eat people, Micoo. They’re herbivores."
"Shut the fuck up, Gavin."
"Guys, shut up."
"Where would there even be cannibals here? Children in corn, maybe, but cannibals? That’s silly, Micoo!"
"Shut up, guys!"
"Gavin, I swear to fucking God! You’re the one afraid of the corn, anyways! ‘We can’t go into the corn, we might get los-"
"GUYS SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Geoff’s crackling scream interrupted Michael’s mock-British impersonation as the car fell silent. "Do you hear that?" He whispered, his blue eyes wide.
Sure enough, a soft puttering was coming from the car, hardly noticeable unless you were searching for it.
"Is it supposed to do that?" Ray asked and Geoff shook his head, brow furrowed.
"Is that… is that smoke?" Jack bit his lower lip as he eyed the front of the car where light gray smoke was beginning to seep out.
"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!" Geoff pulled over, getting out of the car and opening the hood. A wave of smoke poured out and Geoff coughed before kicking the front tire angrily. "FUCK!"
Michael let out a nervous giggle as all eyes turned to him in the car. “…Oops.”
"Well what the fuck do we do now?" Ray asked, checking his phone. "I don’t have any service." The others quickly pulled out their phone to find their predicament was the same.
"Uh… I saw a farmhouse a mile back…" Ryan muttered and Michael groaned, mumbling something that sounded quite a bit like ‘…gonna get eaten by cannibals..’
"Alright, lads!" Geoff yelled and the men piled out of the car to stand in front of him. "Here’s the plan: Ryan and I are going to walk back to the farm and see if they have a phone or some way to help us. You guys stay here. I don’t know shit about cars to fix this, but maybe the people back there do or something." They nodded and Geoff motioned for Ryan to follow him.
YOU ARE READING
Hay and Car Troubles (Freewood)Fanfiction
The boys are on a road trip to a conference when the car breaks down and they are forced to spend the night at a nearby farm. Luckily, Ryan and Gavin find a way to entertain themselves in the boring downtime.