A Love To Remember

Chapter 60: Last Goodbye

"Babes.." mahinang bulong ko ng madatnan ko si Aga dito sa mini-garden ng ospital, sitting at a bench while looking blankly at the sky.

"Ang dami kong pagkukulang," he uttered biterly, "Kasalan ko 'to, babes. Naging walang kwentang ama ako kay Chiara." he added without even bothering to take a glance at me.

Umiling ako at umupo sa tabi niya as I held his cold hands, "No babes, it's not your fault. You did great, you ace your role being a father to Chiara, please don't blame yourself." wika ko.

"She's too young, marami pa siyang pangarap sa buhay babes. Bakit siya nawala agad? Bakit nawala ang anak ko? Bakit siya pa?" tanong niya, imbes na sumagot, niyakap ko na lang siya ng mahigpit.

"Soon, we'll get through this, kaya natin 'to babes. Kakayanin natin. Hindi man ngayon pero balang araw, malalagpasan din natin 'to, for Chiara, for Lhia, for us, for our family.." sambit ko at mas lalo pang hinigpitan ang pagkayakap sa kanya.

Kaya namin 'to, kakayanin namin 'to..

A day passed at hindi ko alam kung paano namin nakayanan ang sakit at hinagpis sa pagkawala ni Chiara, it's hard but we're trying our best to make it easy for us to accept the truth.
First day of her funeral, ni hindi ko magawang makatingin ng maayos sa kabaong niya. Masakit, sobra. Parang noong isang araw lang, magkasama pa kami, nagtatawanan pero ngayon, iniwan niya na kami..

The third day arrived, so as the unexpected visitor. Aga's Mom, Ariella. Pumasok siya sa loob ng chapel without saying a word at dumiretso sa gitna as she took a peek at Chiara's coffin.

Dahil kapwa kami nakaupo ni Aga sa harap, kitang-kita namin mula rito ang mga ginagawa niya and I was surprised when I saw a tear escaped her eyes--- no, I got even more surprised when she looked back at us, humakbang siya papunta sa'min and when she reached our destination, the next thing she did was pretty unpredictable.

She kneeled, crying while saying her apologies for everything that she has done. We we're shocked, everyone's shocked, that's an understatement. Hindi ko inakala na magagawa niyang lumuhod sa harap namin, but she just did. To cut the drama, pinatayo ko siya, I forgave her but that doesn't mean na nakalimutan ko na ang mga ginawa niya, nila noon.

She's the reason kung bakit nagkahiwa-hiwalay kami. But there's no room for blaming each other, at least for now.

Until the day of her burial came. Traditional ceremony, dinaan muna sa simbahan bago dalhin ito sa huling hantungan niya.

I can't talk, so as Aga. Buong misa, tulala lang ako at walang kibo. I survived these past few days pero ngayon, hindi ko alam kung kakayanin ko pa.

"Life is full of ups and downs." napatingin ako sa harap when I heard Kallie's voice, Aga and I decided na silang dalawa ni Eros ang magsasalita since we can't do that.

"There are times na gustong-gusto mo ng sumuko dahil nakakapagod na, there are also times na gusto mo pang lumaban dahil kaya mo pa. Chiara, she's my best friend for ages. Yes, we're not connected by blood but we treat each other like we're sisters. She's my other half. We have dreams to conquer pero ang daya lang, nauna na siya." Kallie stopped as she wiped her tears and took a deep breathe, "Masakit para sa' kin, sobra. Seeing her lifeless body, parang pinatay na rin ako pero looking at the brighter side? Kahit papaano, masaya ako dahil hindi na siya naghihirap, tuluyan ng nawala ang sakit, kasabay nga lang 'nun ang pagkawala niya.." I bit my lower lip to prevent tears from falling, I've had enough, tama na muna.

"Chia, kung asan ka man ngayon, I hope you're happy. Palagi mo kaming gabayan ha? You're now our angel and I swear to God, subukan mo lang maghanap ng ibang best friend d'yan sa langit at kukutusan talaga kita!" mahinang natawa ang iba sa narinig mula kay Kallie, napailing na lang ako at matipid na napangiti, "But seriously, we love you Chiara, we love you so, so, so much."

After Kallie, Eros followed with puffy eyes, just like Aga na tahimik lang na nakaupo dito sa tabi ko.

"Peste. Iyan palagi ang naririnig ko, iyan palagi ang sinasabi niya sa' kin, I can't deny that dahil totoo naman, palagi ko siyang pinepeste dahil mahal ko siya. Pinsan ko siya pero tinatrato ko siya bilang nakakabatang kapatid ko, si Chiara iyan eh, si Chiara iyan. She may be mean at times but try to know her really well and you'll see how kind her heart is. She helps other people in a way that only she knew how, she's a good person." sabi nito, "Hindi ko na papahabain 'to dahil nakakabakla na pero couz, kung asan ka man ngayon, sana masaya ka. We love you, we always do.."

Pagkatapos ng misa, dumiretso kami kaagad sa sementeryo kung saan ililibing ang anak ko. Hearing other people sobs as they took a glance at the coffin is disturbing because it hurts. I'm not crying dahil ubos na  ang mga luha ko.

Akala ko lang pala..

Bago nila tuluyang ibaba ang kabaong, we are told to look at her as we say our goodbyes for the last time.

Aga's carrying Lhiara in his arms as the both of us went to see Chiara and again, my tears started to fall. I'm trembling while looking at her angelic face.

"Ate.. madami akong gustong sabihin sa'yo but seems like my mind went on a complete blackout. I can't find the right words to say, I can't speak straight." wika ko habang humahagulgol, "Basta, mahal na mahal ka ni Mama. Nandito ka lang palagi sa puso ko at kailan man, hindi kita malilimutan."

"You're always going to be my princess. I love you Chia, I really do. Be happy, princess." Aga said who's also crying.

Bigla akong napakapit sa braso ni Aga dahil pakiramdam ko, para akong matutumba. Looking at her coffin na ngayo'y unting-unti na nilang binaba, napahawak na lang ako sa bibig ko.

You are our 11:11, goodbye, my Chiara..

* * * * * *