dm • benj pangilinan

dm • 23

Diana

It's been a week since I ended my contact with Benj, I just didn't want to hear from him at the moment. Even in social media in general, I got rid of my Instagram, Twitter and other accounts I have.

I just want to end everything, all I have now is my parents and my bestfriend, Cara. They mean so much to me, they understand how much pain Benj had cost. I know, I sounded overreacting or something, but it hurts when you thought of someone that you truly trust who doesn't trust you back.

Akala ko kasi na hindi masakit mawalan ng kaibigan kahit sa online mo lang na-meet, pero masakit pala. Sobra.

I moved on with my life, not bothering to reach Benj again, I just didn't want to talk to him. Though I still think of him because I feel so comfortable to talk to him, he is someone you can talk to and all he did was just listen (not literally).

Cara and I decided to go to the gym for some workout, she was convincing me to hit up some workout so after a few times of asking me, I finally agreed.

An hour passed, I feel so pumped up and gross at the same time. Sobrang pawis, I burned a lot of fats. Yay.

"I'm hungry." Cara groaned as she drink from her bottle. "We just finished working out, now you wanted to eat?" I laugh at her while she pouts. My poor best friend.

"We can just get some healthy salad, para hindi masayang yung workout natin." she sighed closing her gym bag and standing up. I nod and I took my bag with me as we go our way to the lobby.

We continued walking our way out of the gym while chatting and laughing our heads off.

"Diana?"

I turned around seeing the one and only, Benjamin Ryan Laxa Pangilinan himself at the counter with ate Ella. My eyes widen as I see him, I didn't know he recognize me kahit hindi kami nagkita ever. I feel star struck because of them, I haven't seen them in person and because I am a fan, all I wanted to do is run and hug the both of them. But then again, I feel gross with all the sweat I have in my body.

Ate Ella whispered something to him which made him nod and leaving me and Benj alone in the lobby, Cara also went outside which was a bad move. Holy moly, he is walking closer to me as I look up at him. I didn't know that he is so tall that my 5'3 height is shy to stand next to him. His eyes are perfect, basta everything about him is beautiful, I can't point any flaws though.

"H-how are you?"

"I'm good." I mumbled as I look down but still trying to gaze at him who is looking fine ready to hit the gym.

"Aren't you gonna ask me like 'how are you Benj?'?" he chuckled, I knew he noticed that I'm nervous right now. Though I wasn't expecting him to say that after everything.

"Gosh Benj, you've forgotten? You tend to forget things easily." I frowned at his words.

His grin fade away, his features became softer to me. I don't get why I feel this but I feel bad after what I said.

"I'm sorry, I mean it. We are friends and I'm really sorry for lying to you. For not telling the truth. I honestly didn't mean to hurt you."

"You should have told me the truth." I looked away from him making sure I won't drop a tear in front of him. He'll think I'm OA for being emotional, because I really am an emotional bitch and you should not judge me.

"I wanted to, but I was scared."

"Scared of what?"

"Scared of losing you."

"Why are you scared of losing me?!? You don't own me and the thought of you lying to me, that isn't an act of a friend."

"Because I like you... And I can't say it to you because I'm in a relationship."

My jaw dropped, literally. He likes me, Benj Pangilinan himself likes me. I'm so screawed right now for hearing that, but thinking that he is dating someone is a sign to not like him back.

There was silence in the atmosphere of the particular place we're in. I sighed, "Yeah, you're right. You can't say that, it's bad saying that to someone if you're dating someone. So, that's cool. At least, you know why you can't say that."

"I'm really really sorry, I hope I can do something for us to be friends again."

"No, it's cool. I'm okay, you're fine. Everything's fine."

"What do you mean by 'you're fine'?"

"I'm all good with you. In other words, I forgive you." A smile appeared on his lips.

"I should not have acted like shit when there's nothing between us, just friends. I also don't want you to think that I'm a psycho-wanna-be or something. So, I'm all good." I added explaining myself to him.

I try to hide the pain, I really like Benj but I can't tell him that because he is dating someone. So, shut up nalang ako bes.

"You made me so happy right now." he smiled ignoring everything I said, wow just wow. He pulled me into a hug and his scent is refreshing, parang niligo niya ata yung cologne. I feel gross out with the excess fats that came out from my body after the workout.

"You can let go now." I said breathless and he said 'oh' then let go chuckling at me while I catch my breath. I could say, his grip was too tight that I couldn't breathe properly.

I didn't stay after a while, we bid good byes as he head in the gym while I got out hopping in to the car.

I told Cara, everything. Every detail, because why not? Right? I mean, it sounds weird but you get me when you talk to someone you like. You just remember, every inch of detail.