We walked in the only place I enjoyed being. Those abandoned tracks that gave me peace when I inhaled the fresh air. I let you meet the stray cat that I considered to be mine, because you know my mom wouldn't like it if I just randomly brought a cat home. We talked and got to meet each other. I enjoyed looking into your eyes as you spoke about how clumsy you were as a child. Those eyes... they got me hypnotized... so lightly colored and I could see everything... or at least I thought I could. You then kissed me and it felt unreal because of how amazing that first kiss was... then cam the question "will you be my girlfriend?" You said. And I remained silent because I was thinking "shit... he kissed me... I have a boyfriend... but I've never felt like this before.. I can't say yes" so I told you "wait and I'll give you a response soon". You said "okay but hurry up" and you kissed me once more. Then we started walking back and I couldn't get over that first kiss.. theme when I got home I decided to break up with someone I truly cared about and loved. But again your eyes got the best of me and I was starting to fall for you. I was waiting for you after that was over... to reply to my messages... but you were taking long... and I kept thinking to myself... "no he can't be talking to anybody else... he said himself he's not like other guys and I know this too.." I was in denial till I convinced myself. But tonight... tonight is where reality hit me. And you said "my ex and I are fixing what he had left behind.." I hope you can understand that right now, all those times you called me beautiful and kissed me, were all a lie. Because to you I was just someone to help you get over your ex when in reality you were still talking to her. I honestly thought we could have "something beautiful" as you used to say. But you told me "we are just friends you said no to my question" you used it as an excuse and right now you ended me. I realized that these type of reasons are why I hate myself... you playing with me like I'm some sort of toy. I was actually starting to be confident and began to slowly love myself... but I look at her and I see things I don't have... like a nice "butt" or a prettier face... she has a skinny prefect oval shaped face... mine is round... because I have chubby cheeks... I'm chubby in my stomach... in my arms... but I have no ass and I have regular sized boobs... because of guys like you I always end up like this... not only that.. you ruined the relationship I had before you. You and you're fucking eyes. We planned. We had future plans and we loved like no one ever has... I still love him but I lost him... all thanks to you... now I am all alone again... and I am depressed again. You made my dark friend return. You ended me and I have nobody to help me... when I need someone they're never there. Why must everything always end this way? Why couldn't you just leave me alone? Why couldn't you let me be happy with him? And with myself? You said you were "different" but of course you were not. You're exactly the same as everyone else. Hurting women and destroying the small confidence they've been trying to build up for YEARS!
