Sheer Emotion

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"Alright, well, goodnight!" Natasha called to Steve and Bucky as they all split from the entrance of the restaurant. Apparently all of the other Avengers had booked rooms in the same hotel, but Bucky and Steve had not. They'd opted for the Marriott and the rest of the group had chosen Hampton Inn. So, after they'd had dinner (and Natasha quite a bit of vodka) Bucky and Steve went right and everyone else went left. They walked in silence. Steve had been quiet all evening, and Bucky was trying to decipher why. He didn't like to directly ask things like this.

As they walked, their hands brushed. Steve grabbed Bucky's hand in his. The tactile contact was a comfort for both. Bucky looked to his right at Steve.

"Steve, are you okay?" He finally asked, quite tentative.

"What? Oh, yeah, I'm... fine." Steve said, looking at the sidewalk. He wasn't being extremely convincing.

"Steve, really," Bucky stopped moving and turned to face Steve on the quiet sidewalk. "What's going on?" Steve looked at Bucky's metal arm, which was hanging by his side. He whispered something. "What's that? I can't hear you, Steve."

"It's just," Steve cleared his throat, looking intently at Bucky's metal arm. "It's my fault." He said in a whisper, his voice breathy. His eyes were pooling with tears.

"What do you mean, Steve? It couldn't possibly be your fault. There's nothing you could have done." Bucky watched as a silent tear slipped out of Steve's left eye.

"I should have been able to protect you." He choked out, almost impossible for Bucky to hear.

"Steve, you did all you could. There were just too many of them. There was nothing you could have done."

"I should have tried harder." Steve looked at Bucky's shoes, his vision blurry from tears.

"No, Steve. If you had done anything else, you might have died. I would not have been able to handle it if you died. You know that."

"Yeah, but you could have died, too. I should've done better." Steve was chewing on his upper lip, looking more like a child than a man. Bucky put his hands on either side of Steve's jaw, pulling his face up. Steve's eyes still would not meet Bucky's.

"Steve. Look at me. Okay? Look at me because I'm here. I'm right here Steve. You did the best you could. If you had tried harder you might've died. And, Steve?"

"Yeah?" Steve responded, his voice hoarse as he looked into Bucky's beautiful, chocolate brown eyes.

"I could not live without you. Okay?" Bucky looked at Steve. He held Steve's face in his hands. Steve's hands were on Bucky's arms.

"I love you." Steve whispered, a voice on the wind. Bucky pulled Steve to him and held him tight, the way he had when Steve was small. Steve held Bucky's shirt in his fists, shaking as Bucky felt Steve's hot tears landing on his shirt. Bucky held Steve in a protective hug until he stopped shaking and his eyes were no longer waterfalls. "I'm sorry." Steve said, wiping the wetness off his cheeks.

"Don't be sorry, Steve. I love you." Bucky gently placed his right hand on the back of Steve's neck, bringing him to him for a kiss. Steve's skin was still burning with emotion, his chest thumping sporadically as his lips brushed Bucky's. Steve knotted his hands in Bucky's shoulder length hair, holding Bucky gently to him. Bucky's hands were on Steve's waist as they kissed.

Quickly, Steve pushed Bucky back against the wall, placing his hands palm down on the bricks just outside of Bucky's shoulders, as if penning him in. "Punk." Bucky breathed against Steve's lips, barely able to form the single syllable as he held onto Steve's waist for dear life.

Steve leaned back, Bucky's entire being still breathless against the wall. "Where in the hell did you learn to kiss like that?!" Bucky asked Steve, panting slightly. Steve just smiled slyly down at him. Steve had kissed Bucky the same way Bucky used to kiss Steve in high school. "Steve..." Bucky whispered lovingly, tracing Steve's jaw with his finger.

Steve pulled Bucky up off the wall, almost like pulling him up from a dip while dancing. Thinking of that, he twirled Bucky. Bucky laughed a genuine laugh, and Steve smiled that smile that left Bucky completely defenseless. Steve wrapped his arm around Bucky's shoulders, Bucky wrapping his around Steve's waist and laying his head down against Steve's shoulder. They walked back to their hotel room just like that, soaking each other's warmth in the cool, crisp nighttime air.

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