The Dwellers Post Issue No 3

BOB EAGER Presents the CHARISMA CORNER

They all three gaze out across the alienated landscape looking for intended carcasses. They are known as the Barnyard Gypsy Syndicate. Mama Rae, the fierce leader always wears a bandanna. She loves her chopper and chops. With a sneer, she engages her two accomplices.
Meegan, who talks to an imaginary friend, likes to draw pictures in the dirt, "pretty pictures." She says this gazing off into space.
Her other follower Bambi, a bombshell, likes to attack men with her deadly lipstick. Bambi loves to tell a story about attacking a man in a bar poking his eye out. Bambi seems bored at times and would rather be hanging out at the mall. That is when she isn't poisoning men.
Mama Rae stares at a picture of Mr. Eager in the paper. "Hero or Menace," is the generic caption on the front cover. She smirks, "That one's easy"

The BGS tried to destroy the PGWF, a wrestling organization. At the time, Bob Eager was the CEO of the company. Eager humiliated BGS by attacking them at the event "Barbwire Bloodbath". The BGS is planning their revenge.

Bob Eager signs a few autographs looks up at the camera- ever an opportunist, and smiles at just the right times. Sometimes there might even be a slight glimpse of goodness that oozes from his bright blue shades. Who knows, depends on the day. Depends on the opportunity.
Something doesn't feel right. A shadow permeates around him.
"What's a matter Baby, got a headache? Special kind of pain." Eager feels his head explode, Lady Headache is standing over him. Lady Headache has a special pill box. She can cause or cure your pain. Through absorption of the skin she rubs it in his skin.
Her cohort Mini Migraine snarls and scratches Eager's face just slightly to add insult to injury. He feels a sharp pain reach the back. Eager seems to be down for the count. What prompted this attack, Eager ponders for a moment trying to get up. Lady Headache and Mini Migraine who he has known since his days as CEO of PGWF.
Eager surprises her with a quick uppercut to Lady Headaches chin. Headache falls backward briefly but catches herself.
After his confrontation with his cohort from PGWF Lady Headache. Mini Migraine growls, she especially hates Eager. Mini migraine throws a kick into his stomach. Although her legs are short Eager is surprised by her power.
Eager looks at Lady Headache and shakes her hand.
"That was quite a workout."
"You must be prepared," she says winking at him.
5 / 9
Eager and Headache have been fooling us all along. This could be described as the difference between a "work" and a "shoot". In Eager's case most incidents seem planned. The onlookers are in shock as the two embrace after brutally grappling with each other.
"All in the name of showbiz."
Lady Headache laughs "Give the people what they really want."
Mr. Eager looks at his watch and realizes he has to get back to work.
Eager arrives anxiously smiles at the Charisma Corner sign looming brightly on the wall.
EPISODE: Ron Sterling Infomercial- Getting Away With Murder
The first part of the episode is with a guy by the name of Ron Sterling. Sterling has a frightening toupee, oddly tilted to one side of his forehead. Sterling has a book called "Getting Away with Murder," and a show called "Hit Man" 101. Eager greets his guest with a bear hug. The audience jeers them both.
"Let's take a look."
Down a dim lit hall Sterling runs, gun in hand creeping in the dark. "I am a trained licensed investigator." He shoots a drug dealer in the face. Blood squirts out of his head just like in a video game.
"Just in case you get into trouble." Sterling's video contains a step by step guide, one entitled "Disposing of the Body," and other chapters such as "Changing Your Identity".
"Of course we don't advocate you know," Eager says looks over at Sterling. They both laugh disturbingly simultaneous. The crowd is unimpressed as the "boos" get louder.
Eager gets a phone call. Courteous Chris his old partner in arrogance says "Hey Buddy. Good news."
"What's that?"
"You are the man of the hour. They are going to roast you."
"Explain"
"Can't man it's a surprise. I'm not allowed to go over the details. You know how you like to be the center of attention."
On the other end of the line, Courteous Chris is dangling from a rope. Mama Rae grabs his head, "Good boy." She scrapes a knife across his cheek. He screams almost like a girl scout. Bambi and Meegan stand behind their intense leader.
Eager hangs up the phone. He doesn't even grab his coat. It's time to party he thinks to himself.
Mr. Eager shows up at the roast. Eager is about ready to find out how literal that can mean.
Mr. Eager is excited but reluctant because he knows what roasts are all about. Obviously roasts are about ribbing the honored guest but they are also about celebrating either significant contributions or major personal achievements. But they can be extremely brutal.
The room is dark. Mama Rae steps out of the shadows. Her two henchwomen form a pack by entering opposite sides of the room. Eager is surprised as he is hit from behind with a metal pipe. He feels several different types of body blows and violent other whatnots.
6 / 9
BGS attacks Eager at the very end. "Girls, the roast of Mr. Eager is about ready to begin," Mama Rae growls. Mama Rae hits him with another. They tie him up ready to BBQ him. Eager squirms, trying to break free. Meegan inquisitively asks, "Hmm chicken or beef"?
PART 3
The Roast of Mr. Eager
Bob Eager awakens confused and groggy, blood spewing from his mouth. His eyes gaze upon three blurry figures. He feels pressure of strangulation. He almost passes out but hangs on by a thread of hope maybe he can use this as a comeback angle. The one thing Eager hates more than anything is lack of control. He is now at their mercy. He begs and pleads for his life. For him, it is the only thing worse than death. They turn the camera on him obviously literally turning the tables. They surround him, still mocking as the red glow of the on button pervades the situation.
Being a shameless opportunist, Mr. Eager takes every opportunity to think to himself how he can use this humiliation to his advantage. A new segment. Shameless Opportunism is the name of the game. He must make every effort to salvage his dissipating career.