When it seems that you've killed the monster, never check to see if it's really dead.
If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetery, was once a church used for black masses, had previous inhabitants who went mad orcommitted suicide or died in some horrible fashion or who performed necrophilia or satanic practices, move away immediately.
Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.
Do not search the basement, especially when the power has just gone out. If you choose to do so, take the damn flashlight not the candle!!!! It's gonna blow out!!!
If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they do not know, or if they speak using a voice other than their own, shoot them atonce. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. Note: it's unlikely they'll die easy, so be prepared.
When you have the benefit of numbers, never pair off or go it alone.
If the gang plans a fun midnight party in the town's old abandoned mansion, don't tag along. Especially don't tag along if everyone's going as couples,except you're the odd guy/gal out. And if you're the gang's jokester, you may as well write up your last will and testament while you're driving with them tothe place.
As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
Never stand in, on, above, below, beside, or anywhere near a grave, tomb, crypt, mausoleum, or other domicile of the dead.
If you're searching for something which caused a noise and find out that it's just the cat, leave the room immediately if you value your life.
If appliances start operating by themselves, move out.
Do not take (or borrow) anything from the dead.
Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you are doing.
If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are female. Also note that, although you are running and themonster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.
If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and soon, get away from them as fast as possible.
Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Crystal Lake, Haddonfield, any hotels such as the Bates and the Overlook
, Nilbog, the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine or Massachusetts.
If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help.
Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chain saws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches,soldering irons, band saws, weed-whackers or any device made from deceased companions.
Listen closely to the soundtrack; and pay attention to the audience, since they are usually far more intelligent than you could ever hope to be.
Never, never, NEVER try to communicate with something icky because "there's so much we can learn from them".
Don't make fun of or play with dead things.
If you find a town which looks deserted, it's probably for a reason. Take the hint and stay away.
If a meteor strikes nearby, move out of town.
When something bad is chasing you, bear in mind that when you try to start your car, no matter how reliable the vehicle is normally, you'll have to crankthe engine over many times before it will fire up.
