Skulduggery Pleasant One-Shots

Fight

A growl came from right outside the door, and Valkyrie swallowed. "Eleventh floor," she whispered. "One of the offices, don't know which one."

"Okay. Stay where you are, and-"

There was a crash and Valkyrie cursed. "Not an option," she said as she jumped away from the wall. One of the vampires burst in and Valkyrie snapped out her free hand and lightning flew from her fingertips. It hit the vampire square in the chest and it shot backward, going through into the room on the other side of the corridor. "Well, that was easy," she said.

"From the sound of things, I'd advise moving," Skulduggery said.

"Yes, thank you for that." Valkyrie ran out of the room in time to see the vampire getting up. She turned left and sprinted, looking back as she ran. She cursed when she saw all three now bounding after her.

"What?" Skulduggery asked.

"I'm running," Valkyrie said.

"Good plan."

"Thanks. Where the bloody hell are you?"

"Coming, love."

Valkyrie scowled, taking another left. "That's grand, dearest. You might want to... I don't know... Speed up?"

"Currently fighting two at one time, angel."

"Well, I'm running from three. And you have a gun - use it."

"But of course."

She heard four shots fired through the receiver. "Are they dead?" she asked.

"Remind me why I married you?"

"Because you love me," she said. "Because I'm intelligent and beautiful and witty and extremely modest."

"Yes yes, you're hilarious."

She grinned.

Valkyrie burst through a set of doors, coming to a stairwell. She started down, taking them three at a time. She placed one hand on the rail, shut her eyes, and vaulted over. Valkyrie fell, cursing when she realised the height she was dropping from. She thrust her hand out and felt it close around metal. Her eyes snapped open, and she yelled out as her arm was nearly yanked from her socket. Valkyrie looked up, saw the vampires following her over. She took a breath, then let go of the rail and fell. Again.

She hit the ground and rolled, smacking straight into the wall.

"Owwww," she groaned. "Yeah, I'm on the bottom floor now." She stood on shaky legs. "Definitely on the bottom floor," she grunted. She picked up her phone.

"Valkyrie?"

"Hi, Skul."

"You okay?"

"Fine," she said. "Grand. Ribs hurt a bit, and, uh... Feeling a little bit dizzy but... But... But apart from that..."

"Give me a moment." She hung up, jammed it into her back pocket and turned just as all three vampires landed silently before her.

Valkyrie raised her hand and the one on the left growled. She grimaced, then fired. The energy hit two of them, and those two flew back, going through the wall behind. The other one leaped and Valkyrie ducked just in time. It flew over her but twisted as it hit the wall, springing off it. The vampire landed on top of her, frantically clawing at her. She grunted, and heaved, and managed to roll it off her. She stood up again and it crashed into her, taking her through the double doors and into the lobby of the building. She pressed her hands on the vampire's chest and pushed, keeping the jaws away. They lit up and it flew backward. She lay there for a few moments, then got up and turned, bumping straight into Skulduggery.

"Hi," she panted.

"Hello," he replied. "We should probably move."

"Yeah."

She let go of his arms and they ran through the room, bursting through the doors into the night sky.

"Question," Valkyrie said. "Where are the other ones?"

"Well-"

One vampire dropped down, landing in front of them. They skidded to a halt. Another dropped behind, two on either side. The three that Valkyrie had blasted through the wall came bounding out of the building and joined the others.

"There they are," Valkyrie said, beaming.

"So it would appear."

"There are seven of them."

"Yes, there are," Skulduggery replied, taking out his gun.

"You don't happen to have a spare?"

"Not on me."

"Great." Valkyrie glanced at him. "We've never fought seven at one time."

"We'll manage."

"Right..."

"This was easier than I thought it would be," Valkyrie said as she shot lightning at the last vampire. It fell to the ground and Valkyrie stalked over, held it down with her foot. It kicked and struggled and snarled. "Gun." She caught the gun out of the air and fired twice. The vampire went limp. She lowered the gun and kicked it in the head for good measure.

"Speak for yourself," her husband grunted. She turned, smirked when she saw him lying, propped up by his elbows. "I'll have my gun back now."

Valkyrie grinned and walked over. She sat next to him. "It's a really nice gun, you know."

"Gun."

"Really cool style..."

"Gun."

She laughed and handed it to him. "You okay?" she asked.

"Never better," he said, sitting up. "There's still the warlock to round up."

"Give me a minute. Litlle bit tired, you know.... O account of the scary monsters we just fought."

Skulduggery laughed. "Well done, by the way."

"Why, thank you."

"Nine vampires in ten minutes."

"I am brilliant."

"Taught by the best."

"Yeah. Wreath's great, isn't he?"

"Bloody git," Skulduggery muttered.

Valkyrie laughed and kissed him. "You jealous, Pleasant?"

Skulduggery tilted his head. "Not anymore."

"Good."

"That would get annoying."

"You're already annoying."

"Charming."

"I know. But it's only sometimes, though."

"Am I annoying now?"

She smiled and rested her head on his shoulder. "Nope," she said. "Now's a good moment."

"Now is."

Valkyrie sighed. "We should probably go and get the warlock."

"Probably," Skulduggery agreed.

"Are we going to go and get the warlock?"

"Why ruin the moment?"

Valkyrie grinned, was about to say something when a stream of white energy sizzled the air above her head. She looked away from her partner to see the warlock running towards them, full pelt. The grin dropped and was replaced by a glare. "You have got to be bloody kidding me."