The Ultimate Guide to Harry Potter Fanfiction

Abuse

Abuse is a serious issue. Like, really serious. I cannot overemphasize the seriousness of abuse. You shouldn't throw it into your story just to garner sympathy. Unless you're willing to write about the ramifications of the abuse in your character, you shouldn't write it. Unless you're willing to research what victims of abuse go through and how their thinking processes change, you shouldn't write it. Unless you're willing to take a long road of recovery with your character, one that might never reach an end, you shouldn't write it.

Just a side note: If you can't tell, this whole chapter is just talking about abuse. If you're a survivor of any kind of abuse, and feel like this would be a difficult chapter for you to read, by all means, please don't read it. I love you and I'm so proud of you and you're so strong for getting through that. Don't hurt yourself by having to relive it here.

There are several different types of abuse, and they all affect the victims differently. Emotional abuse is different from physical abuse is different from sexual abuse. Often, you don't have one without another, but not always.

Here's an article I found on springhole.net about writing abusive situations:

Abuse is a horrible fact of life, and it takes many forms. Unfortunately, it's often misunderstood and handled badly in fiction. Here are some basic tips and pointers to keep in mind if you plan to involve this sort of thing in a story or character backstory.

Abuse often starts out small and gradually gets bigger.
If abusers started off new relationships at their prime levels of nastiness, they'd drive away just about everyone at first go. But by starting small, they can progressively desensitize victims to physical and/or emotional abuse, while the victim simultaneously becomes more and more invested in the relationship - so by the time the abuse is in full swing, cutting loose may be very difficult - if not next to impossible.
In some cases, the abuser escalates because the abuser discovers that xe can exert control over the other person and finds it enjoyable or rewarding to do so. The abuser's behavior will worsen upon finding out that xe can get away with more and more, while the abused might be too afraid of xir own safety or too afraid of the consequences of making waves (starting a fight, "ruining" the relationship, etc.) to speak up.

Abusers tend to define "real" abuse as something worse than what they're doing.
For example, a physical abuser might beat the kids three times a week, but claims it's not real abuse because the abuser doesn't starve the kids and make them sleep out in the cold barn like the abuser's own parents used to do. Or a verbal abuser who shouts and destroys the victim's belongings might claim it's not real abuse because the victim isn't being personally physically harmed.

Abusers often operate on the unequal respect paradigm.
This one is not uncommon among abusive parents and authority figures: they use two different definitions of the word "respect," one for themselves and one for everyone else (or at least, everyone they perceive as lower than themselves).

Let's say a victim complains that an abuser does not show respect to the victim. The abuser might reply, "I'll start showing you respect when you start showing me respect." Of course, what this really means is, "I'll stop hurting you and treating you like you're trash once you start doing everything I say," or "I'll start treating you like a human being once you start treating me like your master and ruler."

In other words, abusers operating on this paradigm define "respect" as:
• Something that others have to earn from them, while being something that they themselves are owed immediately and without question.
• From other people: perfect, unquestioning, and uncomplaining obedience and deference.
• From themselves: not actively abusing others.