My Artwork

Vent Art

Vent art I've done over the span of this year. I'll give a little explanation for each one.

This one is complicated. It's partly themed on how I feel like I'm spilt into two sides-the one on the left is manipulative, heartless and sadistic and 'doesn't give a fuck' and it acts like the protector of the right side, which is hypersensitive and fragile and 'weak and pathetic'. Its also themed on how I'd been dealing with a lot of obsessive and inescapable self hatred which made feel hopeless and worthless-especially since I didn't have suicidal thoughts, which at least gave me a kind of comfort in knowing there's a way out, so it was just all the more raw and excruciating.

This is themed about how I started to move from thoughts of self hatred to thoughts of how nothing makes me happy, and how I don't think I'll ever be happy. I mean I just wanna be happy and I can't. I don't know how to be happy. I don't know how to be.

And another vent art self portrait:

Explanation for this one is that I'd hardly been eating. It made me feel worse, but it dulled the bad thoughts by giving me a sluggish, apathetic brain fog. I'd making myself worse by not eating, but that meant I could make myself better by eating-so it's something I can control, it helps in that sense. But I've been eating better. Still feel pretty fucking miserable though.

I drew these two because I was/am pissed off and frustrated with it all.

Here's my latest one, themed about how I have a lot of 'bad' thoughts and I don't know how to handle them.

The one above is about this emptiness I feel a lot. It's just this aching, gnawing nothingness.

And this one is about drugs, haven't found the motivation to finish it:

Still feel fucking miserable.