Drowning

I can't do it

I can't do it. I can't do anything. Everything I touch dies. Every single day I feel like I'm drowning and there is no one there to see it. I try so hard to let people know but it doesn't seem to work . People ask me " Are you OK." and I say "yeah I'm fine". I don't have the courage to say " NO!". So they walk away without even noticing how broken I really am. I go home everyday thinking that tomorrow I will get help. Tomorrow will be the day that I speak up. But when tomorrow comes my courage fades away. I put on a fake smile and barely get through the day without lying on the ground and sobbing. Even my best friends can't see it. They think of me as a happy girl who loves everything and is always smiling. I am always drawing and trying to show them how I feel through my art work but they can't see it. I go home and cry wishing that someone somewhere will help me get through this. My family thinks I am there precious little girl who does good in school, does sports, and stays out of trouble. They have no idea how I feel. When everybody around you is happy. And the ones who aren't are stronger than you and can tell the people they love. I feel like I am stuck in a cage. But it is worse than that. I feel like I am drowning. And every second that I waste not telling people how I feel is another second I am slowly dying. But there is no one there to help me or to hear me. Everyone is on the shore having a good time and playing. While the tide has taken me too far out for anyone to see me. All alone just waiting for someone to come save me or to just die. I am drowning. I guess I will forever be drowning.