You Will Be Found

Anybody Have a Map?

A/N: So I will be writing the chapters from scenes or songs. I hope you enjoy!

Evan P.O.V.

"Have you been writing those letters to yourself? Dear Evan Hansen, this is gonna be a good day and here's why...?" Mom asked me. "I started one.." I responded. Uh oh. That disappointed look crossed over her face. That's not good, especially after last night. She had to rush out last minute for work and left me $20 to order a pizza. When she got home she had found me in bed and the untouched $20. I hadn't ordered because of my anxiety. I didn't want to talk on the phone or have to speak to the delivery guy. She didn't need any more stress after that. "Those letters are important, honey. They're gonna help you build your confidence," she told me. "I guess..." I said. "Can we try to have an optimistic outlook, huh? Can we buck up just enough to see the world won't fall apart? Maybe this year, we decide, we're not giving up before we've tried. This year, we make a new start!" His mom said. "Hey! I know! You can go around today and ask the other kids to sign your cast. How 'bout that?" She asked. Ugh, the cast. I had gotten it after breaking my arm falling out of a tree in an apple orchard. I sighed. Well. it was better than the letters. I can never think of something to say while writing those. "Perfect," I said. I didn't really like the idea, but as long as I can make her happy... "I'm proud of you already," mom said. "Oh, good.." I said. I walked out the door with my lunch and the remains of breakfast. As I left I could her singing from inside. "Another stellar conversation for the scrapbook, another stumble as I'm reaching for the right thing to say. I'm kinda coming up empty, can't find my way to you. Does anybody have a map? Anybody maybe happen to know how the hell to do this? I don't know if you can tell, but this is me just pretending to know. So where's the map? I need a clue. 'Cause the scary truth is, I'm flying blind, and I'm making this up as I go." I turned around and began the walk to school.

---The Murphy House---

Connor P.O.V.

Ugh. It was the first day school, making things even more strange in my broken and insane family life. I looked at my chipping black nails holding the cigarette. What's wrong with me? I'm seventeen, have no friends, and am practically insane. Woo! I walked downstairs. Mom glared at me. Oh god, here it comes. "It's your senior year, Connor. You ARE NOT missing the first day," she told me. "I already said I'd go tomorrow," I responded. Suddenly, my dad stood up. "He doesn't listen. Look at him, he's probably high." he criticized. Good old dad, making life hell. "He's definitely high," said my younger sister Zoe. Well, see if I care. "I don't want you going to school high, Connor!" She yelled. Yes! There's my chance! "Perfect, so then I won't go! Thanks, Mom!" I said. "Another masterful attempt ends with disaster," she mumbled to herself. "Interstate's already jammed," dad yelled. "Pour another cup of coffee, and watch it all crash and burn," mom continued. "Connor finished the milk!" Zoe whined. She should really learn to shut up for once. "It's a puzzle, it's a maze, I try to steer through it a million ways, but each day's another wrong turn," Mom finished. "I better head out," Dad said. Followed by Zoe's cry of, "If Connor's not ready, I'm leaving without him!" Screw it, I might as well go. At least I can see Evan. Before I left, mom's phone rang. It was Ms. Hansen. The mother of my best friend, Evan. Apparently, she was having problems with Evan. And when my mom and Evan's mom have kid problems, they call each other and complain. And as I walked outside, I heard them singing."Does anybody have a map? Anybody have a map? Anybody maybe the hell to do this? I don't know if you can tell, but this is me just pretending to know. So where's the map? I need a clue. Because the scary truth is, I'm flying blind, oh, I'm flying blind, and I'm making this up as I go!"

CHAPTER 1 END