Beautiful in White (One Shot Story)

Beautiful In White

It was the 14th of February when I first laid my eyes on her. Romantic nga sabi ng ibang tao na nakita ko yung taong mamahalin ko sa mismong araw ng mga puso.

It was my grandparents' golden wedding anniversary. Everyone who was special to them was invited. I didn't even know most of the people who attended at wala naman ako pakialam sa mga tao kung hindi ko lang siya nakita.

Wearing a baby pink dress, she shined brightly among the sea of people in the venue. Para akong tumititig sa madilim na kalangitan at siya lang ang nag iisang butuin. I just can't help but smile because of her simplicity.

Wala siyang make up at ang buhok niyang sa tips lang kulot ay mukhang natural naman. She doesn't even have other jewelries than her golden locket necklace. It was a heart shape.

Kinakausap siya nila lolo't lola at malaki ang ngiti ng matatanda na parang tuwang tuwa silang nakadalo yung magandang babae na yon. Tila may tinanong rin si lola at agad naman tinuro nung babae yung bandang kanan niya. Nakita ko naman paparating ang dalawang babae. Siguro'y mga kapatid niya.

Her seemingly snobbish siblings flocked to her. I can't help but compare her to her sisters. They were pretty too and indeed classy. But she was the prettiest and simplest among all of them. Another glance at napagtanto kong mahiyain siya. She doesn't do eye contact with anyone, even my grandparents. She smiles and she's happy and damn I had even forgotten that I'm still existing in this world.

"Nicolai!" napalingon ako dahil sa boses ng aking ina.

"Halika na uuwi na tayo, magpapaalam na tayo sa lolo't lola mo." aniya

What? Lalapit kami dun?

"Huh? Ikaw na lang Ma, hintayin na lang kita sa sasakyan." sabi ko at nagsimula ng maglakad paalis bago pa niya ako pigilan.

Hindi ko kayang lumapit. Pakiramdam ko ang perfect niya at hindi kami pwedeng magkalapit.

Pagkatapos ng araw na yon, ay hindi ko na siya muling nakita.

Kaso sadyang pinaglalaruan ako ng tadhana. First day of class noong 2nd year college ako nang muli ko siyang makita.

Our first meeting was very short and I realized that it was like one glance at Heaven, but luckily I'm experiencing Heaven everyday of my life now.

Lagi ko na siyang kasama. Hindi lang sa malayo ko siya natitingnan. She's always shy and she's not that famous but I don't really care. Sikat ako sa paaralan namin pero I can sacrifice my fame and even all of my achievements just to be with her.

Her name is Haven.

A very nice name for a very nice girl. Indeed, she was also my Haven. My safe place.

Lagi ko siyang sinasamahan pag lunch at hinahatid pauwi. Everything was so worth it. Nakilala ko siya, and finally she learned how to loosen up. Napapansin ko na marunong na siya mag eye contact sakin.

She still never wore make up though and she loves pastel colors but she never wears white. Aniya, ayaw raw ng mga ate niya ng ganoong kulay kayat ayaw niya na rin. Masyado daw kasing plain.

"You never wore white kasi plain at ayaw ng mga ate mo?" tanong ko sa kanya habang nakaupo kami sa isa sa mga bench sa school.

"Hindi lang yon. Ako kasi si Cinderella sa bahay..." ngumiti siya bago ipagpatuloy ang sinabi

"..at hindi naman lahat ng gusto ko nakukuha ko. Kadalasan ayaw ni mommy." sabi niya habang nakayuko.

"Huh? Bakit naman? Di ba dapat spoiled ka nga kasi bunso ka?" tanong ko

Umiling siya bago magsalita.

"Anak lang naman ako ni Papa sa labas e. Nagka affair siya noong nag away sila ng tunay niyang asawa, at ngayon wala na si Daddy at hindi ko pa rin alam kung nasaan ang tunay kong ina kaya kay mommy ako tumitira." sabi niya

"Ayaw nilang nagsusuot ako ng mas magagandang damit kaysa sa kanila. Lahat ng damit naman na meron ako, galing lang sa perang inipon ni papa para sa akin."

So that explains why her sisters looked too materialistic in my grandparents' anniversary.

"I don't even wear make up at di hamak na mas magaganda yung mga ate ko."

That was the biggest lie I've ever heard. Kung mas maganda sila edi sana wala ako dito sa harap mo ngayon. Edi sana nandun ako sa mga ate mo, 'cause you know, beauty is not only about physical appearance. For me you're the prettiest, babe. With your heart so pure and damn, how could you even say that? You're way hotter than your siblings!

"That's okay, I'll make sure I'll get to see you wear white and with make up on in this lifetime." ngumisi ako at napalingon naman siya agad sa akin.

Ngumiti rin siya. "Ano? Paano naman?" tanong niya

Sa kasal natin! Sisiguraduhin kong naka make up ka, at panigurado naka white ka na nun. Tingnan natin kung gaano ka kaganda pag di ka na masyadong mukhang simple.

"Basta. Baka nga nakagown ka pa e." sagot ko sa tanong niya.

It was the first time I ever felt that crazy for a girl. Alam mo yung bigla ka na lang mapapangiti, mapapatulala at pag magkasama kayo wala ka ng pakialam sa mga tao. Kahit pa makasalubong ko sa daan ang pinakamatalik kong kaibigan, hindi ko na siya napapansin sa tuwing kasama ko si Haven.

Takot akong ligawan siya kahit gustong gusto ko. Ang malas pa dahil sa tuwing magco-confess ako, laging wrong timing.

I made up my mind. It's her I want to marry. Gusto ko pag magpapakasal na kami, ako yung maghihintay sa kanya at siya naman ang hihintayin ko habang naglalakad siya papunta sa altar.

Gusto ko siya na talaga at wala ng iba. I would gladly spend my lifetime with her, and if this world is a fairytale and my life is a storybook, then she's my happy ending.

But you know, I realized that not all storybooks have a nice end. Hindi lahat happy ever after.

Akalain mo yun, ako pala ang dahan dahang naglalakad patungo sa kanya habang nangingilid sa aking mga mata ang mga luha.

Ako etong takot at kinakabahan na lumapit sa kanya kasi alam ko, magbabago na talaga yung buhay ko.

But you know, I have to deal with this. Because life is a journey, and whether you like it or not, you have to keep walking. There's nothing you can do for the people you had left behind.

Nagpatuloy ako sa paglalakad, at bumuhos na talaga ang mga luhang kanina pang ginagawang blurred ang paningin ko. I feel so gay but damn, I can't contain my emotions.

Tinapik ni daddy ang balikat ko ng makarating na ko sa harapan.

And then I saw her, lying there peacefully. Just like the natural her, and you know what's funny? I was right. I was right all along. She is indeed very stunning with make up and in a white dress. Her long hair, as natural as ever is curled only at its tips. It reminded me of the first day I met her. Simple but lovely.

I'm regretting everything at this moment of my life. I never even had a chance to confess my feelings for her. Naunahan ako ng isang trahedya.

Just when I was about to confess again, she died..from a car accident.

When she died, a part of me disappeared. Lahat ng pangarap ko para sa amin, nawala. Lahat ng kinimkim kong pagmamahal para sa kanya, eto at kailangan ko ng ibaon.

She'll forever be a memory. Someone so close but will never be mine. Maybe no matter how much I want her to be mine, the Heavens would never allow me to touch their precious angel.

But you know, she'll always be my Haven. My safe place. My love, and the girl I'll never have.