I felt the car jerk me awake as we rode over a speed bump, my mother in the front seat eating potato chips, my little sister in the back playing with her doll. I knew we were far from town now, as I looked around I saw farm after farm, scarecrow after scarecrow, unwitting farmer after farmer. I knew I was being cynical but it didn't stop me from thinking it, they had no idea what life sat past their little fields and into the real world. Of course I contradicted myself immediately by thinking the opposite, what do I know of the lives they live, I've never even met them.
I felt a tap on my arm as I sat there worshiping my thoughts, dreaming about the mischief the farmers would get up to, like little corn harvest cults. I turned to look at my sister who sat giggling, holding out a bit of candy for me to take, she was just trying to cheer me up I know, after all it's my fault we're moving. I accepted the candy, carefully hiding it beside me in the bag of food I'd been offered along the way to our new town. I wasn't hungry, they knew I wouldn't eat, but they still offered. I smiled to myself for a second before the unwitting hatred returned, in which I felt bad for myself even though I didn't deserve it.
I looked around the car, my mother carefully decided each little piece of her chips from the bag, being careful not to grab full chips in case Kia would want some. Kia was a small bird my mother adopted a few years ago. Raven black feathers completely opposite to my mother's long white locks, tumbling down her back to her hips. She always commented on how she loved her hair's quiet speed bump curves, petting my little sister's similar curls that floated just slightly above her head, only inches, maybe two, in length. They both had small blue eyes and high prominent cheek bones, hiding gently behind their heart shaped faces and rosy cheeks. My mother and sister were happy people, smiling all the while, with their bright colored dresses and skipping step way of walking. When I had been small I thought my mother was a fairy princess, accidentally dropped into our world on a night of rejoicing. I always loved fairy tails.
I however was the son of the devil who crawled out from hell. Long black hair penetrating the air like a knife with spikes in all directions even though we never layered it. Dark clothes like the night, which were the only ones that suited me, and brownish eyes which in the right light looked red. I was the spitting image of my father as my mother would say, she meant this to be good, but all I heard was "you look like the man who left us". I didn't want to look like my father, but I couldn't help it, nothing better suited me.
My mother was happy though, my sister was happy, even I was happy, before he came along... but now we are moving, there is blood on my hands, and my family has to start all over. I know my mother would never say it, I know she would never even think it, but I know that my mother misses her town. The house where she was born, the schools me and my sister played at, and the coffee shop where she met our father. All the places we were driven out from, the places I was called a murderer, the places she was called a warden, and where my little sister was held in the light of my actions, believed to be just as crazy, that one day she would snap.
My family was driven from our home by people who helped raise us.
All because of me.
The car suddenly shuddered to a stop and I gasped looking up at the mother who was staring straight at me, she leaned over and wiped the tears from my eyes.
"Don't you dare blame yourself for this sweetheart, we know that you weren't at fault, we know why you did what you had to. You protected yourself, and you protected us, and we will stand by you no matter who fights it. This is not your fault. We were full able to stay in that house, in that town. Frankly though if we'd tried to I think I would have actually hurt someone with the intention. No one hurts my babies." She smiled at me happily, filled to the brim with care. I love my mother, so much.
