A Love To Remember

Chapter 47: In Despair

Na walang problemang iniintindi, well, except for one, iyon ay ang hindi ko makuha ang gusto kong laruan sa mall but compared to my problems now, it's way worst than it is back then.

Napapitlag ako when my phone vibrated na nakapatong lang sa side table ng kama ko kaya kaagad ko itong kinuha as I answered it immediately.

"Damn. Chiara, asan ka?" bumilis bigla ang tibok ng puso ko upon hearing Tita Analaine's voice na para bang, may nangyaring hindi maganda.

"Sa bahay po Tita, bakit?" I answered and asked her, I heared her sighed mula sa kabilang linya at kasabay 'nun ang tunog ng sasakyan, she's probably driving.

"Everything is now a mess, nang dumating ako sa ospital, nagkakagulo na sila. Isa sa mga katulong niyo ang pumunta doon upang sabihin sa Daddy mo ang lahat ng mga ginawa mo and the tables have turned, the blame is all yours. Iniba niya ang kwento so I'm sure, binayaran siya nina Ate. Your Dad is furious about it at papunta siya ngayon d'yan, I think Lea followed him. I didn't had the chance to talk to them dahil pagdating ko, iyon ay ang pagalis nila. Tita Ariella told me everything and she even said na hindi siya makapaniwala sa mga ginawa mo and that, she's very dissapointed. Damn that woman, for sure, siya ang may pakana ng lahat ng ito!" she explained na ikinanlaki ng mga mata ko.

What the actual fuck is happening? Why are they doing this to me? Ano bang kasalanan ko sa kanila?

And Daddy, he's mad? Natatakot ako sa mga pwede niyang gawin sa' kin, oo, I did all those worst things to Lea pero, Mommy Clara forced me to do so! It's like a Stockholm syndrome, but in a different scenario.

"Tita, I'm scared." mangiyak-ngiyak na sambit ko with my hands trembling.

"Just stay calm, Kuya Aga is so mad kanina na halos kahit ako, napaatras nang dumaan siya sa harap ko. For now, umalis ka muna d'yan sa inyo, pumunta ka sa park ng village niyo, I'll pick you up. Go!" utos niya, I was about to answer but to my horror, nakarinig ako ng sunod-sunod na busina sa labas. They're here.

Nabitawan ko ang cellphone ko sa sobrang gulat as I bit my nails in frustration, what to do? What to do?

I'm scared. Natatakot ako, I don't want to face him. Kapag lumabas ako rito sa kwarto ko, sigurado, makakasalubong ko siya sa daan, I'm left with no choice.

I took a deep breathe as I made my way towards my bathroom, my whole body is shaking and I'm already sweating because of fear, binuksan ko ang isa sa mga drawers as I grab one of the blades I have stored there inside.

One way to escape reality is to do this, bahala na. I'm too tired to deal with them.

Dali-dali kong binuksan ito at kaagad na tinutok sa pulsuhan ko, my life is a me----

"CHIARA!" mariin akong napangiwi upon hearing Dad's dreadful voice. They're really here. Shit.

Rinig ko ang pagbukas ng pinto dito sa kwarto ko at ang mga yabag nila patungo sa banyo kung nasaan ako ngayon, the door opened and I was greeted by Dad's fuming face.

"Ano na naman ang ginawa mo, Chiara? Ano bang problema mo at wala kang ibang ginawa kundi pahirapan ang mga taong nagmamahal sa'yo?!" he asked me in a loud voice kaya tuluyan ng tumulo ang mga luhang kanina ko pa pinipigilan dahil sa takot.

"I--I'm sorry." I whispered but instead of answering me, napaupo ako bigla sa sahig because Dad slapped me hard 'causing me to cry even more.

"Aga, ano ba?" I heared Lea yelled at him, umiiyak lang ako habang nakaupo at sapo-sapo ang pisngi kong namamaga dahil sa sampal niya.

Ilang beses kaming nagaway, ilang beses niya akong pinagalitan, ilang beses niya akong sinigawan but this? This is the first time, the first time that his hands met my cheeks at wala ng mas sasakit pa dito.

"Sumusobra ka ng bata ka, ganyan ba kita pinalaki? Chiara ano ba? You're making everything worst and damn, I don't know what to do with you anymore!" lintaya niya, I was just crying while looking at the both of them, standing right in front of me.

"I'm sorry Daddy, I'm sorry." iyan lang ang naisambit ko, I can't even defend myself. I can't even think straight right now.

"What's that? Ano iyang hinahawakan mo?" he asked ng mapunta sa kamay ko ang tingin niya, kaagad ko namang nabitawan ang blade dahil doon.

"So you're planning to kill yourself? Fuck!" he exclaimed at bigla na lang siya naglakad palabas, leaving me and Lea behind na nakatayo lang habang nakatingin sa' kin.

"Forgive him, he's mad. Hindi niya alam ang mga pinangagawa niya." she said softly at akmang lalapit sa' kin pero dumating bigla si Daddy, holding a box at tinapon niya ito sa harapan ko.

Napahagulhol ako when I finally figured out kung ano ang laman ng box na tinapon niya sa harap ko, it's a very familiar package to me dahil suki ako nito, blades.

"Kill yourself, go! D'yan ka naman magaling eh! Bullshit Chiara!" he yelled once more, making my sobs even louder.

He won't stop me like he used to do back then? He want me to kill myself?

"Damn it Aga, ano ba?! Talk to her in a nice way, don't let her do things you might regret afterwards!" Lea told him at animo'y galit na kay Daddy, she was about to go to my direction ng bigla siyang napatigil when her phone made a sound, she received a message.

Literal na nanlaki ang mga mata niya while looking at her phone as he look at Dad, "Si Alysse." wika niya at walang pahintulot na tumakbo palabas sa kwarto ko.

Narinig ko pang nagmura si Daddy as he took a glance at me once more, "Hindi pa tayo tapos." he said at tumakbo rin palabas upang sundan si Lea.

When they left, mas lalo akong napaiyak habang nakahawak sa dibdib ko, na-susuffocate na ata ako, I can't breathe properly.

Iniwan nila ako. Iniwan na naman nila ako. Again, they chose Alysse over me. Ayaw ko na talaga, ang sakit-sakit na. I can't take this pain anymore.

Napatingin ako sa box ng blade na tinapon ni Daddy, he want me to kill myself? Then I will, I'll make sure na sa gantong pagkakataon, matuluyan na ako because no one in this world would care to stop me, wala silang pake sa' kin so what's the point of living, right? Everyone hates me.

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