The Life of a Changing Teen

Chapter 1

          “Stop! Why can’t you just be the obedient child that some of your friends are? They’re better daughters than you.”

          I tried my best to hide the tears streaming down my face as the words she had just said struck me harder than a blow to the cheek would.

          She had always been right about my friends being better than me. I tried my best to be the perfect daughter she wanted me to be, but I just can’t. I’m simply just me and it hurts that she doesn’t accept me for who I am.

          “Maybe one day I’ll get everything right and she’ll love me,” I said to myself as I was opening and closing drawers, trying to find my knife. “Or maybe I could just end it all right here and now.”

          I dug the knife into my wrist, wincing as the pain struck me. The blood dripped down my arm like rain on a window. I made three more cuts, pressing down harder and harder each time, hoping that eventually, I’d die from loss of blood. I took my usual amount of pills to knock me unconscious and just as my head hit the soft, comforting feel of the pillow, my phone beeped, bringing me back to the pain and heartache of life.

          My best friend Nathan was calling me, probably wanting to talk about his new boyfriend.

          “Hey beautiful. How are you?”

          “Honestly Nate, I’m not sure anymore.” I said in all honesty. “My mom is starting to give me crap. How come I can’t just be who she wants me to be? Maybe then she’ll–“

          “Baby girl there’s nothing wrong with you. Your mom just needs to learn how to accept you for who you are.” Nate interrupted, attempting to make me feel better.

          “No Nate. She’s never gonna accept me. I need to change who I am. Then she’ll finally accept me and love me.”

          There was an almost uncomfortable silence as Nathan pondered over the right words to use.

          “Is that really what you want to do? You’ll just be unhappy.”

          “Who cares? At least then she’ll like me more.”

          He didn’t say anything for what felt like hours when it was just a few minutes.

          “You know there are people who care about you and love you right? Even if your mom doesn’t.”

          “No one cares about me Nate. They all just fake it.”

          “I love you and care about you.”

          “No you don’t,” I said, on the verge of tears.

          “Hang in there for 20 minutes ok Jas?”

          “Why? What are you gonna do Nathan?”

          Nathan knows that when I use his full name, I’m beyond serious and mad enough to throw a knife at a child.

          “I’m coming over…”