Dare to Know

Chapter 1

  I'm dressed up in black head to toe. My long black hair falling on bale tired face masking it. Black hoodie on a black t-shirt, black tight jeans and black army boots. Ready to disappear into the night. I slouch my black back bag on one shoulder as I wait for the train. I packed the basics before I leave home forever. One bag pocket containing enough money to last me long enough for the trip and a few months in my new destination. As the train arrived, I grabbed my bag tighter realizing how I would be lost if someone decides to snatch it. I took my place on the train, a lonely seat beside a window and away from everyone else.I'm going to see Adam. The mystical creature transforming my mind like pieces of lego. My thoughts swim back to and through his words that replay themselves to me. We are nothing. One day we will disappear into dust and then nothing. Nothing in this world means anything. He asked me to keep living but how can I help the feeling that I live and try not to suffer all in vain. He told me to embrace the pain. I embrace it in vain. I left my life behind me. My family, my friends, my college, I left all that behind to seek "The great perhaps" a reference from the last book I read and left behind. All I left behind will soon also cease to exist in vain. 

 Few minutes later I get ripped off my thoughts when a slim girl with short green hair decides to "noisily" take the lonely seat beside me. She pushes me to the window with her bag as she sits. "Oops sorry" she laughs goofily and properly arranges herself in her seat then her bag. I smile back awkwardly. That's my "nevermind". 

 "Hi I'm Max" she stretches her arm in my direction and it takes me a few seconds to realize I need to shake her hand and say my name."I'm Rumi" my voice low and gentle. She picks up my discomfort and stops the social interaction. I look at the way she's dressed, her tomboy style much close to mine except for a grey hoodie and white Subra shoes. It would be nice to spark up a conversation but that's a skill I don't have so I keep my mouth shut. Just like the way I'm raised. The only difference as a grown up is that I'm shut up on my own without my father's fist.

 The girl beside me now is munching on gummy bears as she hums to the loud music blasting from her headphones. I decide to pick the only book I got with me on the trip. Veronica Decides to Die. Veronica, just like me, had enough of the routine life and decided to take hers away. However, I'm planning to seek one last adventure before considering this option and put it to action. If I go through it though, I imagine to go just like Veronica did, in an induced eternal sleep. As charming as she was, a woman of elegance and luxury, she ended up in the same state of mind I'm in at the moment. Giving up past and future. Seeking the unknown. I read till I feel my eyes begin to dry out and sleep trying to kick in so I close my book shut and rub my face. I can't sleep now, not here.