Lost Mate

Nine

'Any more females I need to worry about?,' I ask as if I am pissed at him. He looks at me in shock and takes a step back.

'Excuse me?,' he asks.

'How many have you even been with?,' I ask and I tell myself it doesn't matter anyway and it doesn't. At least I think so. A part of me wants to know.

'If you must know... I had sex with one before Cindy, but she is dead. My father killed her,' he says with his hands folded.

I swallow hard and nod.

'And you?,' he asks just as harsh as I did. Okay, it hurts more since his voice is just plain mean.

'I never did it, if that is what you mean,' I tell him.

'Did you love him?,' he asks with a harsh tone.

'Did you love them?,' I ask him back. Knowing he won't like the truth, but if he at some point marks me... This will be way too hard for both of us.

'No, I cared for them,but nothing like what I feel for you right now. I don't know what love is, but it's getting close to what I am feeling for you. Now.. did you love him?'

I look at him without saying a word.

'DID YOU LOVE HIM?,' he asks angry in his Alpha tone.

'First of all... Do not yell at me! Second of all... Yes, I did. I loved him. I loved him because there was no chance in hell I would find my mate. So I let myself fall in love with him, but it's nothing compared to what I feel right now.'

His eyes are pitch black and his breathing is uneven.
I slowly get up and make my way to him slowly.

'What I feel for you is different, real, not fake, pure. I am not scared of letting go when I am with you.'

Shit! What am I doing? This is not good. This will lead to many other things. Things I don't want right now.
His eyes become the lovely white that I know as he stares into my green ones. His head rests against mine as he breaths normal again, taking in my scent.

'You drive me crazy by just looking at me,' he whispers.

His brings his lips closer to mine and i start to panick.
He wants to kiss me, but I look down at my feet.

'Why? Why can't I kiss you? Why can I taste your lips?,' he asks a bit hurt.

'If you kiss me now, we won't​ be able to stop and I am not ready for anything beyond a kiss,' I tell him.

He reaches forwards and kisses my cheek.

'I have to take care of some stuff and after that I am going for a run. Be safe. Tried to mingle with your pack members a little.'

He walks to the door and I desperately want to ask him if I can get some real cloths, but I am scared he will get pissed. He shuts the door behind him and I sit down on the bed, just starring in front of me.

Arthur. His perfect black hair and those brown eyes. I will never forget him for sure. Not that I still have feelings for him, but he is the one who told me again and again that I was going to be okay and at that moment that is all I wanted... To be okay.

***

I take a deep breath before entering the kitchen where the females are doing the dishes from the breakfast I just had. As I enter the room falls quiet and they all bow their heads.

'Can I help with anything?,' I ask with a small voice.

'Luna, you are suppose to give orders and not help doing the dishes,' Nala says.