heidegger's philosophy

falleness

“Pinakikinggan mo ba sarili mo kapag nagsasalita ka? 'That’s how things work here.’ May sira ka yata e.”

Jade did not dignify her with a response, and decided to ignore her for the rest of class, though her plan was ruined when Althea slid over a paper with a sketch of Jade with her hands on her hips and an exaggerated frown.

Jade smiled and promptly turned away to hide it from Althea, who grabbed the paper and scribbled something at the bottom.

ngingiti na yan

Jade's mouth is slowly hurting from trying so hard to keep it from lifting into a smile. 

Stop, she wrote.

kamukha mo si renee zellweger. nakakunat ang mukha

I hate you.

no you dont. Jade really, really didn’t.

Yes I do!!

nope. you love me, lablab ;)

God, she was in so much trouble.

——————

“So, nangangarera ka daw.”

Jade looked over at Althea and blushed.

“Bakit gusto mo manuod?”

Althea's nose scrunched up. “Pero hindi ba maraming tao sa mga ganoon?” Jade nodded. “No offense ah, pero I’m really only interested in you.”

Jade hoped she wasn’t reading too much into that, but how could she not?

“Sometimes, when I practice, konti lang ang tao. Maybe you can watch one day.”

“I’d like that,” Althea smiled.

She smiled at Jade more often than she smirked these days, and Jade desperately tried not to read into that as well.

——————

“So, kailangan ko na umalis,” Althea said. She cracked her knuckles and shuffled her papers into a neat stack.

“Bakit may date ka?” Jade joked. Althea stared at her for a moment before answering.

“I have a gig,” she answered absently, now shoving everything into her over-stuffed backpack.

Jade's eyes widened. “Do you play the guitar?"

“Yes."

“I knew it,” Jade whispered. Althea looked up, brow raised.

“I just  -  your fingers  —” Jade forced herself to stop talking. She expected another smirk, maybe a dirty joke or two, but Althea only blushed and cleared her throat.

“So, tomorrow?”

Jade nodded. “Baka isipin pa ng ka-date mo, iniwan mo siya.”

“Trust me, kung meron man talaga akong ka-date, mas pipiliin ko 'to," Althea smiled. Jade felt like her stomach was being attacked. Damn it, she thought.

Althea raised and offered her arms and Jade got up from her chair and impulsively hugged her.

It was an awkward fit with both of their backpacks but that didn’t stop her from inhaling deeply against Althea's neck. She allowed herself three more seconds and pulled back. Althea adjusted the strap of her bag and stood to the side, smiling.

“Good luck sa gig,” Jade murmured.  

—————

Don’t think about it.

She thought about it.

Stop it.

Jade huffed and banged her head at the table.  

Don’t think about it.

Earlier in the day, she had cut Chemistry in search of her P.E. teacher, Sir de Leon, to ask about that day's homework so, of course, the only logical thought would be going to the school’s gymnasium.

She burst in — it was her territory, after all—and literally collided with Althea.

A shirtless, only in her bra, Althea.

Don’t think about it.

Jade had definitely not known what Althea Guevarra was hiding under those nerdy shirts. Sure, she’d hugged Althea a few times by then, but she had no idea.

Stop it stop it stop it.

She bit her lip. She thought of smooth skin, toned abs and arms, the way Althea caught her around the waist as she ran into her—

“You’ve been spending a lot of time with the mysterious Althea Guevarra lately.” Paul's voice snapped her out of her inappropriate train of thoughts.

She looked up and saw Paul and Sally settling themselves in their table. Jade instinctively glanced towards where Althea's table was, her nose buried in her notebook. I wonder if she can write songs, Jade mused.

“She’s tutoring me.”

“Is she only tutoring you?” Paul smirked over the mouth of his water bottle.

Sally furrowed her brows while Jade just glared at Paul, daring him to say more. Paul rolled his eyes. “Fine, hang out with Miss Clark Kent all you want. Pero when someone asks, tell them I disowned you.”

“Wait, Paul, are you really insinuating that Jade likes Althea?” Amelia asked. “Jade's straight. 'Di ba, Jade?”

“Guys, ano ba. She’s just tutoring me!”

Sally looked offended “Hindi mo sinagot yung tanong ko, Jade.”

Jade started biting her nails. “Hindi na naman kasi kailangang sagutin 'yan, Sally. Althea and I are study buddies. That's it."

“Really? So you won’t mind Wila flirting with your study buddy?” Paul jerked his head towards Althea's table and sure enough, Althea's previous notebook was being currently ignored as Wila and Althea laugh about something Jade could care less about.

“Oh! I saw them walking home yesterday!  Wait, didn’t you guys have a study session yesterday?” Sally asked innocently but Jade was positive that Sally knows what she’s doing.

“Oo, but we finished early because she had a gig,” Jade said while playing with her straw.

“Do you really believe that?” Paul scoffed.

“I heard from Batchi that Althea, like Wila, bats for the other team,” Sally added.

Jade banged her head against the table. This has been happening a lot recently. I better get my head checked. “Can we just drop the subject? I don’t care if they have something or not. I just want to pass English.”

Jade tried to sound as nonchalant as she could.

I don’t care.

But she does.

Who cares if she lied?

She did.

Later that day, she didn’t attend their session. And the other three sessions after that.