No Longer Human (Dazai X Reader)

~Chapter 1~

Dazai led you to a four story building. You followed him in, and he kindly took you to the fourth floor, his smile never fading. When you got to your destination, you saw many other people there. Mostly secretary's, and you finally realized why Dazai brought you here.

"Ok Y/N-Chan~! That's Ranpo! His ability is Super Deduction! He can solve any case, just by looking at it!" Dazai beamed.

"Oh wow! That's pretty cool!" You smiled at the boy with brown hair and scuffed up clothes.

"It's not 'pretty cool!' It's super awesome, and exceeds any, and all other abilities!" He said, and raised his hand dramatically.

"Oh. Um...of course!" You said kindly.

"Oooo! And that's our doctor! Yosano! She's almost invincible and can heal fatal wounds! Isn't it awesome?" Dazai smiled from you to the woman in a skirt. She had a small butterfly clip in her hair and smiled at you.

You held out your hand. "I'm Y/N!" You smiled with closed eyes. But instead of getting a handshake, Yosano was looking you over.

"We must go shopping together later! I gotta get you some nicer clothes pronto!" She lifted up your skirt a bit and you hit her hand away. She looked shocked, and you backed up into Dazai. He smiled at you, and held your shoulders.

"It's ok, Y/N-Chan! Yosano is always like this!" Dazai smiled, and released you gently.

You sighed, and apologized as Dazai moved on to the next member. "This is Kunikida! His ability allows him to summon anything he's seen, as long as it isn't bigger than his notebook!"

The blonde man looked at you, expecting you to laugh. He was surprised to see you staring in awe. "Wow! Really? That's so cool!"

He looked at you curiously and smiled. "I'm glad you think so! But I don't have time to deal with brats who haven't seen abilities in action." His kind smile turned into a discussed look of dissatisfaction.

"Oh...erm...sorry..?" You said, confused.

"He's a,ways like this!" Dazai said in attempt to cheer you up. "Ah! Perfect! Y/N, this is Kenji! He has super strength!!"

"Wow! I didn't think anyone could be less tidy than Ranpo-San!" Kenji smiled.

You sweatdroped. "I get it," you started. "I need new clothes!"

"And a bath!" Kenji added, kindly.

"Heheh.." you looked at Dazai. "Can we please move on?"

Dazai patted your back and nodded. "Out next members our Tanizaki and his sister, Naomi. Tanizaki' ability is Light Snow! He creates this screen of hallucinations!"

"Oh wow! Impressive!" You beamed. "I wish I had an ability like that!"

"Your an ability user?" Dazai asked.

You nodded. "It's not really useful though."

"Oh...well you can tell us about it after I introduce our latest member, Atsushi! He has the ability to turn into a tiger!"

"Woah!" You awed when you saw the white haired boy. His eyes were yellow, and purple, and playful looking.

"Sooo....what's you ability?" Atsushi asked.

"Umm...I can demonstrate?" You asked and held your hand out to him. He hesitantly placed his hand on yours. "Absorb!" You shouted.

Suddenly, your hands became tiger-like, you grew cat ears and a tiger tail. Everyone beamed, and applauded.

"Woah, Y/N-Kun! That's impressive! Use it on me!!" Dazai exclaimed. "I wanna see!" Dazai eagerly held out his hand.

"Ok." You shrugged, and took his hands in yours. Your eyes widened. You felt powerless, empty. You immediately pulled away and looked at him with shock. "Wh-what the..?"

Dazai gave you a sweet closed eyed smile. "See, my ability can stop other people's gifts! So, your powerless to use your ability on me!" Dazai patted your shoulder gently.

"B-but!" You shouted. "M-my ability has no exceptions! N-no fair!" You whined.

"Heh heh!" Dazai smiled. "It works with everyone! Your no exception~!!"

"Eh..?" You asked, confused.

"Hehe~! Allow me to explain in further detail!" Dazai offered.

"N-no I get it! It's just...I never thought such an ability existed!" You said with your hands in front of you.

Dazai smiled and let out a small chuckle. "Don't worry about it, Y/N-Kun! Everyone is surprised when they first see my ability."

You relaxed a bit, then Dazai kept talking. "Ok so, Y-N. Important question."

"Hm?"

"Do you want to join the Agency?" Dazai asked with a stern, serious face.

"R-really!? Yes! Of course!" You beamed.

"Perfect~!! Here! We have an extra work space beside mine!" Dazai pulled out a chair from the desk, and offered it to you. You sat down gratefully as he smiled. He sat beside you, and started talking.

Then, the door opened. You turned and saw a girl about your age, (twenty). She had a grey scarf and a black, faded coat. She had black hair, and pale skin. She was carrying a small file in her hands, and looked like she was forced to be here.

"Dazai." She whispered.

"Excuse me~!" Dazai patted your shoulder and walked over to the girl. "Yes, Wolf-Chan?"

"The files I owe you." She said simply and held the file out to the skinny brown haired man in front of her. You noticed how the more she talked, the more she hid her face in the scarf. Is she shy? Scared? Worried? Threatened?

"Ah yes! I'm assuming he's with you?" Dazai asked. The girl nodded.

"We should go somewhere more...I dunno...private?" She whispered even lower.

"Alright Wolf-Chan~! Let's go!" Dazai smiled and walked out the door. "Oh an Y/N-Kun? Just have Yosano show you around and help you out, ok?"

"Um...ok..?" You answered, clearly confused as to why Dazai would leave with this strange girl.

Oh. I get it. You thought. That's his girlfriend, right? So much for me having a chance...

Awwww don't feel like that Reader-Chan!!!! NOOOO!!! Do you want a Paradise hug? No? B-but...meh ok.
HAPPY SATURDAY, PEOPLE!!! Did ya miss me~!? Ooooh of course you did! I missed you too, Reader-Chan~! Anyway, this won't be like my other book! I'm not gonna follow the storyline of the anime again! It was too hard! I'm sorry!

Ok~! I'm running out of things to talk about, so imma go!

Bai~stay in paradise~<3333

-Paradise-Chan~!

Credits-

Thank you Hipsterpink for the ability~!

And thank you wolf-the-dragon for letting me use your OC in my book~!