PARIAH

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It's only the first night of the first day of a hell of a year and I've already been kicked out. i cursed the closed door and slung the duffel over my shoulder. she'll regret it. exhaling and watching the cloud form and disappear before my lips, i glanced down at my attire. the sneakers remained untied and the over-sized hoodie swallowed me whole including my bottoms. "this'll have to do." i stepped off the porch and traveled in a direction with no destination in mind.

It wasn't long before i found myself at his door, ringing the doorbell. my nerves jumped and jittered with each passing second. i was contemplating just walking away when the door swung open revealing the total opposite of what i was expecting( i may have been expecting a female). 'Jordan?' 'uh yeah. hi Christian...is Brandon home?' he glanced behind him (probably confirming his home's appearance) before stepping aside. 'come inside.' i hesitantly stepped passed him into the house.

i took a glance around the place, remembering its details and comparing them to the last encounter i had with it. nothing had really changed, maybe the floor is a little less cluttered. 'i'll let him know you're here.' he said bringing my mind back from its journey. i merely nodded and took a seat finding myself lost in my head once again. 'Jordan, what are you doing here?' i stood and shook away the things on my mind. 'Hi Brandon.' 'don't "hi" me. why are you here?'

i puffed my cheeks and lifted the duffel back onto my shoulder. 'i shouldn't have come here.' i started for the door in attempt to escape possible embarrassment. 'i asked you a question. why are you here?' his fingers curled around my arm and gently yanked me back till i was standing in front of him again. my lips parted to give him an answer but nothing came out. i admit i was scared.we weren't exactly on good terms and what i would say next could possibly make it worse.

my eyes left his and focused on the ground,looking for my answer. 'what is it, Jordan?' i made up my mind to tell him. it was either now or never and i really couldn't afford the never. 'i'm..' his eyebrows furrowed when i couldn't finish my sentence and just stared off. 'you're what?' i begin to shake with sadness, the pain flowing from my eyes. 'i'm pregnant, Brandon --- my eyes found his again, the tears still descending--- 'and i don't  have anywhere to go.'

his grip on my arms loosened and i took it as my chance to disappear. i moved ---as quickly as my legs could manage--- towards the door. his voice carried throughout the house as he called for me. i swung open the door and left him. i wasn't ready to face his words or actions.

leaving the house, the sound of something smashing against the wall filled my ears. it made me jump a little in my place. i placed a hand over my mouth, gasping in fear. my heart was racing. my insides turning. i can already feel the nausea coming on from just the encounter with him. he had to know... what do i look like not going to the one person who means something to me? not telling him what we created? no matter how hard and raw it was to do, i did it. 

i finally made my way home, even though i wasn't welcomed. my legs were tired and i was worn out. i carefully climbed through the opened window i made sure to leave before i left and headed to my room. i finally made it to my bed and fell on my back. my eyes were trained on the ceiling. the air in the room was thick and hot, sweat beads were already forming on my head and my breathing already heavy. 

my eyes followed the ceiling fan as it turned clockwise. swoosh, swoosh, swoosh. the sound it made with every complete circle. i turn my head to face my night stand, the dark wood reflecting the moonlight into my eyes. the contents of its surface consisted of a half full cup of water, a golden vanity lamp, a half eaten snickers, and the one thing that starts a whole new chapter in my life --a pregnancy test.

I didn't know why I hadn't thrown it away. I didn't know why I wanted to keep It. Maybe It was because it was the only form of confirmation I had. I knew I had to figure out something before it was too late to Pick one option over the other. I wasn't a fan of  abortion. But adoption was a damn good option...that is if I couldn't keep up with taking care of myself and a baby.

I knew for one my mom wasn't having it. She may be disappointed in me now but she will HATE me if I killed it. It just didn't agree with our Christian status. I ran my fingers over my face as I let out a sigh. I was beyond tired. Tired of crying, thinking, and not sleeping. The last week or so had been hell for me. The pressure of going back to school and now the pressure of going back pregnant.

I didn't want this to happen. I didn't want to sleep with him again. After we had split and became friends I was sure we would be just that. But no.. I had to fall for his gorgeous ass eyes and his luscious ass lips. Look where it got me. I abrubtly set up and scanned the room. My mind processing too many things at once. Before I knew it I had grabbed another bag and was practically shoving my life into it.

I peered around the room again before walking out of the bedroom door (I wasn't going back out the window). I slowly made my way down the stairs and out the door, Careful not to wake the beast i called my mother. Once I was outside again I took a deep breath and started walking. This time I knew where I was heading.

I couldn't help but feel my stomach twist as I got closer to my destination. I didn't stop walking tho. I was being so bold after I done cried my eyes out and made myself look like a weak bitch. I was shocked. I looked up at the house I just visited and tucked my lip between my teeth. 'Now or never' was the last thing I said to myself as I stepped on to the porch and knocked on the door. Here goes nothing.

Hello hello!!! It is I, the fxckbxy of the duo. Kidding. You can call me Dee or DADDY. Giggles. Anyways this is our first book and we would love for you to show us some love and help us spread our work to the nations.... We probably should start small. So let's say to your fellow wattpadders and peers. Feel free to offer your constructive criticism and help a couple of sistas out.
With love, Daddy 💙💙💙💙