Today sucked, just like everyday without you in it. I woke up to the Beeb-Beeb-Beeb of my alarm, went to the bathroom, used the bathroom, brushed my teeth while trying not to look in the mirror. I went back to my room, put on my gray sweatpants, and a plain navy blue tee-shirt that's just baggy enough where no one can see my "curves" Then I sat in front of my mirror, put up my medium length brown hair into a messy bun, and put on eyeliner. I stood up, and just stood there looking at what I've become. I'm 5'4 and 150lb. Let's just say I have a muffin top, "thick" thighs, and a huge freaking chest. I stared at myself. Hating everything I've become.
On the way to school I ate chicken biscuit from Bojangles like usual. In school I sat and did nothing. I talked to no one, well there's no one who wanted to talk to me, and I sat alone. I listened to my music and did my work. Started in Horticultural 1, then Honors earth science, next I went to A.P. Language and composition, last, what used to be my favorite class, theatre 3. Each class I was all alone, I didn't text anyone, and I didn't speak to anyone. Theatre used to be where I could be wild and crazy, I could be myself and not care. Now I don't feel like being anything at all.
Now I sit here on my bed, writing this. And I know on the outside I look cold as stone, like I don't care about anything, and that I want to be alone. But on the inside, I'm screaming for help, I'm hoping for just one person to just come sit by my side. Praying for someone to come and pull me out of the water in which I'm drowning, that someone would come and make me breathe again. Though, I know it's my fault that I'm alone, I push everyone away. I did this to myself. So yes I sit alone, writing to you, listening to my music, I sit here doing the only thing I can do, think of you.
You became a huge part of my life, of me, but you lied. You lied to me. But that lie made me feel safe, it made me feel like you were back for good, it made me have hope. You told me many lies each one adding up to one big hurricane.
YOU ARE READING
Breathe Again
Teen FictionOn the outside she looks like she'd rather be alone, like she doesn't care about anything at as she sits there listening to her music ignoring the world. Though, on the inside, she's screaming for help, praying for someone to come and pull her out o...
