Somewhere Down The Road

Part 1

My mouth was dry. I tried to swallow, but it was like someone lined my throat with sandpaper. The gulping noise evaded my mother's attention so I tried one last to summon the courage to speak.

"Mom."

I was shocked my voice sounded so steady. It was a stark contrast to my body, which was shaking uncontrollably with a mixture of nerves and adrenaline.

She turned, smiling. "Yeah?"

This is it. Say the words. Do it now, Gilmore. "I'm pregnant."

I was expecting an explosion. This was Lorelai Gilmore, after all. And she wasn't known for her subtlety. I was more than prepared for questions and declarations of my stupidity. What I hadn't factored into all of my pro/con lists was no reaction at all. Yet, here sat my mother, stunned into silence. Possibly for the first time in her life.

"Mom? Did you hear me?"

My mom raised her hand as if to say wait. I slumped down on the steps of the gazebo, wishing the ground would open up and swallow me. I knew I should have kept my mouth shut.

Finally, she spoke. Her voice wavered, and I struggled to read the emotions behind her words. "Are you sure, Rory?"

I nodded. "Yup. Two lines on the stick and everything."

"Wow."

"I know."

Lorelai sat there, her blue eyes wide as she stared at me. I wasn't sure if she was even seeing me. As I studied the face of my best friend in the entire world, I saw her eyes slowly fill with tears as the startling news finally hit home. "Oh, Rory. How? When? Who's the father? Does he know? Are you really sure? Because those tests aren't always accurate, you know. I mean—"

The ghost of a smile touched my lips as words began to tumble out of her mouth. Now this I had prepared for. "Whoa, mom, slow down. One at a time. Just don't ask me how, because if I need to explain that to you..."

Lorelai managed a small laugh and I deflated like a popped balloon. She's not mad, I thought as relief flooded through my body. "Ok, so how far along do you think you are?"

"About six weeks." Six weeks, three days and about 20 hours, to be precise.

"So, you're really sure?"

I sighed. "Yeah, Mom. Like one hundred per cent."

A frown creased her beautiful face. "Are you going to keep it?"

"Mom! What kind of a question is that? Of course I am."

"Sorry, Ror. I had to ask. I'd have supported you either way, you know that."

"I know. But there was never any doubt. The second the stick said yes, I knew."

"I remember that feeling well."

I gulped as my throat started to close up, feeling the weight of tears beginning to build behind my eyes. Blinking rapidly, I tried to focus. "I'm scared, mom. I'm all alone. How did you do this?"

Lorelai stared at me for a long moment. "Rory, who's the father?"

"You know who it is, Mom."

"So Logan Huntzberger strikes again, huh?"

I rolled my eyes, knowing my mother had never been his biggest fan. "It's not like he planned this!"

"Well, maybe he didn't, but it doesn't sound like he is going to step up and take responsibility for his actions."

"He can't..."

"Can't or won't?"

Frustration built inside me and exploded out. "No, not won't. He doesn't even know, so just stop it, ok?"

I watched as my words registered in her brain and her mouth dropped open. "Rory..."

"Look, I'm sorry, ok? I shouldn't have told you. Not here, not tonight. I've ruined your wedding."

Lorelai frowned, and I saw sadness flicker across her face. "Oh, hon, no. You haven't ruined anything! I'm going to be a grandmother. That's amazing, Ror."

"So why do I get the feeling that a big old 'but' is heading my way?"

Lorelai continued without missing a beat. "But you need to tell him, Rory."

I dropped my gaze to the ground, staring stubbornly at a small stone by my foot. "I can't. He has a dynastic plan and a baby with his—mistress... That's not a part of it."

"Oy with the dynastic plans already. Mitchum Huntzberger can kiss my—"

"Mom! You kiss Luke with that mouth?"

Lorelai winked. "Yeah, but he likes it."

I laughed hollowly. "Dirty," I said, but the word sounded flat, even to me.

My mother wrapped her arm around my shoulders and pulled me close. "It's gonna be ok, kid. We'll figure this out together. And you've always got me, ok? Don't ever forget that. You're not alone, Ror."

As we headed back to the house to prepare for the next wedding ceremony, I couldn't help but go over my mother's words in my head. You have to tell him.

Of course I have to tell him. Or I should tell him. It's not that easy! I can't just pick up the phone and say, oh by the way Logan, I'm having your baby... Can I?

I sighed. It suddenly felt like the whole world was resting on my shoulders. Feeling older than my years, I made my way to my room and threw myself onto the bed. I curled up into a ball, hugging my stomach with my arms. I began to picture the baby that was growing inside me, seeing a girl with his blonde hair and my blue eyes. Then the tears came and I gave myself to the overwhelming sadness I felt.

This isn't how it was supposed to be, I thought before exhaustion claimed me and I fell asleep.