Pre War Bucky Barnes One Shots

Finally (Part 6)

"Sorry, but it happened because of the exact reason I'm wanting to talk to you." You sigh as you plop down in the seat across from her.

The two of you order a coffee each and as soon as they are there you get down to business.

"So what's up?" She asks lightly.

"It's Bucky. I'm really worried about him," you say gravely.

Peggy's face seems to darken in understanding already.

"Why's that?" She asks hoarsely.

"He's changed a lot since he came back."

"You don't think it's just because he's older now and time has passed?"

"No, definitely not." You shake your head and nervously trace your pinky finger around the rim of your coffee cup as you think back to nights like last night.

"Oh no." She sighs, already understanding where you are heading. You knew that with all of her training she would know something. "Can you tell me some of the changes?"

"Well the worst thing is definitely his nightmares." You frown. "They're really bad and he has at least one every night. And when I say bad I mean squirming around crying in terror."

"Oh my god that's awful (Y/N/N). Do you know what they're about?"

"No and that's the problem! Like last night he actually spoke in it and said something about let him go free because he has a family and he often sounds like he's in pain. But when I try to talk to him about it he just shuts me out," you exclaim.

"He probably doesn't want to think about it." Peggy reasons.

"But it's just so frustrating for me because I love him and want to help him but he doesn't let me."

"Hmm I see, is there anything else?" she asks intrigued.

"He gets so anxious about everything. Like I was late because he wouldn't stop asking questions. And he gets so self conscious and worried about things now too. I think the arm isn't helping."

"Does he get quite angry or aggressive?"

"I wouldn't say that but he can get a bit short when something is clearly bothering him and he never used to do that. He kind of gets mood swings too. One minute he's happy and then something happens and then he's suddenly all nervous or worried again and I don't know why." By now you're getting quite upset about it.

"Okay so (Y/N/N)," Peggy says seriously and reaches across the table to take your hand in hers. "In order to get to my position I had to learn about all the different things that could happen to a soldier as a result of going into battle. It sounds like Bucky's got post traumatic stress disorder."

You can't help but gasp, your world comes crashing down. Bucky has PTSD. You shouldn't be surprised after what he's been through.

Although improvements are being made on the views of mental health now days, it is still not something to go declaring around the streets.

Tears spring to your eyes and you fan at them to stop you from crying and ruining your make up.

"You okay?" Peggy asks quietly.

"Yep I'm alright, it's just a bit of a shock." You mumble.

"It will be. And I want you to know that Steve and I will be here to support you guys. This is nothing bad, especially after all that happened to Bucky. But you guys will be okay. He's a strong man and you're a loving wife that will get him through it."

"W-what am I supposed to do to help him?"

"I guess that all you can do is be aware of it. Understand what triggers him and let him know that you're there for him, he's safe, he's loved. Do things that make him happy. Try to talk to him about it too. There's no way you will ever fully understand it but let him know that you want to. When he doesn't want to talk about his nightmares do your best to get him to or else he will just keep reliving them in his head. That's probably what most of the nightmares are made of; memories and flashbacks."

"Will it ever go away?"

"Hopefully it won't be as severe in the near future, but it will take help from you or he will just dwell."

You nod and choke back your tears.

"Peggy?" You ask after a moment of her watching you patiently.

"Yeah?"

"Is Steve affected by it too? By the war?"

"Of course. All of those men will be. When we thought Bucky had died Steve was overcome with survivors guilt. Now he's having serious trouble adjusting to his new life. He can do things he never used to be able to. He's got expectations to live up to. People recognise him now, kids want his autograph. It's all very different and scary and the war most definitely wasn't as good as he though it would be. He even said to me the other day that it turns out killing the enemy isn't what he thought it would be. Those men were innocent."

"Oh Steve." You sigh sadly. "The poor man. That must be hard."

"It is but he deals. You know shat actually? If Bucky and Steve talked to each other about it that would probably be good for both of them."

"Okay yeah, we will get them together out one point." You nod in agreement.

"Bucky will be fine (Y/N). He's lucky, he's got you to look after him. There's no way he won't get better with someone like you to help him. From what I've gotten to know of you so far you are a wonderful, caring lady."

"Thank you." You smile and blush.

The two of you finish your coffees in relative silence.

"Now before you go I have to tell you something that might cheer you up." Peggy suddenly says, a warm glow in her cheeks.

"What?" you ask intrigued.

You watch her as she smiles contently and leans back stroking a hand over her stomach in a way so delicate that it definitely wasn't just to smooth her blouse out.

You gasp and clamp a hand over your mouth, realising just a second before she tells you. It all clicks into place. Turning down the drink should've been a dead giveaway.

"No way." You mumble excitedly.

"I'm pregnant." She gushes.

"Ah that's great! Congratulations Peg!" You squeal and get up to hug her. "Does Steve know?"

"I only found out this morning and he's out for the day. I wanted to tell him first but I'm just too excited so I had to tell you." She beams.

"That's amazing. He'll be so happy." You sigh.

"I can't wait to see his reaction." She giggles. "Are you and Bucky going to have another one?"

"I know he wants to and so do I, but we haven't really talked about it properly yet." You shrug.