Emily,
My dear mermaid,
I never had the intention of being lured into anybody else's spell, never had I believed that I would fall weak under someone else's power, until I met you. You never did conform to what I would class as the norm I found myself in but that in itself speaks for a lot, describes the feelings I have for you almost perfectly. They differ from the norm.
I had no intention of hurting you and if I was capable of doing so I would unwrite the past, make sure that those things I said never left my mouth. I was confused and you only added to that, you made me question myself, my own mind. I thought it was your fault, I didn't understand. I ask for forgiveness everyday.
I had no intention of leaving you, of making you suffer. I watched you from a distance your beauty never fading even when I was one to take the pure smile from your lips, I wished to be the reason for that smile. I hope that I still could be. I understood that you were the one who truly cared, something that only deepened the heat in my cheeks, something that only increased the rise and fall of my chest every time that I meet your eyes.
I never intended that all I would be able to occupy my mind with was your wellbeing, I could not focus on what was mine because it would never be enough. You became the only thing worth knowing. Your problems became mine. Your struggles I felt. I want to be the other part of you in a way I could not understand.
I couldn't believe that I would want to go to you when I could not bare to be alone, be wrapped in your arms and understand that I felt a comfort that I had never found anywhere else. I spend my time thinking about how extraordinary it is that the thought of our lips meeting is something that I regularly fantasise about.
You made me lose every battle.
Every fight had been lost.
All the walls I tried so hard to put up you seemed to have broke down and you do it so easily, without even noticing that you are doing so. It infuriates me, makes me sick but in the suffering I find pleasure - it makes me understand.
I could not stop myself from loving you.
You were a missing piece to me and an act of gravity pulled me towards you unable to ever attach.
I didn't even understand how fierce this passion would be, this need, this curse but it was more than I could have ever imagined.
I would do anything for you mermaid.
Lie.
Cheat.
Suffer.
Words are hard for me dear Emily but I know ones that are not, I love you.
