when sungjae first met changsub, they were in a practice room."so, our first lesson today is vocalizing--" and sungjae never really payed attention after that. his eyes were stuck to that one boy with full cheeks and glistening eyes at the corner of the room."sungjae-yah are you listening?"
for a brief moment, sungjae caught his eyes but turned his attention to their mentor who just called him."of course," sungjae said, meeting his mentor's gaze. the mentor nodded and class got on. sungjae caught a glimpse of the boy and started spacing out again.
(that was the first time they met and sungjae was fascinated.)
--
changsub likes to call it"special", because it's only between the two of them. when changsub sneaks in sungjae's room and climbs into his bed. unconsciously, sungjae would wrap his arms around him and in the morning, it wouldn't be a question for the two of them.
it started when changsub's nightmares came in and the only one awake that time was sungjae, fortunately. sungjae offered changsub that he'll let him sleep in his bed anytime.
changsub didn't only sleep in sungjae's bed when he has nightmares. it probably became a habit for them, too. for instance, when changsub wouldn't come into sungjae's room, sungjae would go into changsub and peniel's shared room and piggy back him until they were back in his room. and it would be the same thing all over and over again.
nobody knew, anyways. their assigned rooming was never really followed. ilhoon always sneaks out to go to hyunsik's room.
(there wasn't really anything between changsub and sungjae but both of them sure wish there was.)
changsub climbed onto sungjae's bed, snuggling into sungjae's back."hyung?" sungjae whispered, turning to face changsub, wrapping his arms around him.
"hm?" changsub looked up with sleepy eyes and dishevelled hair, arms still around sungjae's back and it's roughly 1AM but sungjae felt a strong pang in his chest when he met gazes with changsub. he's so cute, this should be illegal. and it's kind of domestic when sungjae runs his fingers through his hyung's hair and changsub whispering that if he's got nothing to say, he'll just go back to sleep.
(it's nice, sometimes. it's between the two of them, something they don't show to the world. a secret, maybe? but it's nice. sungjae likes it nonetheless.)
sungjae also likes the way his hyung probably has the softest hair in the universe. sungjae probably likes it more when he can run his fingers freely on his hyung's hair. sungjae also likes the ink that's scattered around changsub's body, likes the little snores that come out from his hyung's lips. sungjae likes it like how he likes those glow in the dark stars that's scattered in the cieling.
but changsub-hyung? he doesn't like him. no-- he's certain it's more than that.
(it's probably love, but sungjae's just in-denial. he wonders on when he'll probably have the courage to say it. he accepts the fact that he's in-denial, but doesn't accept the fact he loves his hyung.)
"hyung, i love you."
(it's all sudden, he knows.)
sungjae doesn't know when his voice had the courage to speak it out. and he doesn't quite trust the silence (and his voice) to speak out after. changsub's probably asleep and--
he hears changsub let out a chuckle.
"i know. i love you too, sungjae. now let's go sleep--"
"no, hyung, it's not like that. it's not the type of hyung love, it's a love love kind."
and changsub lets out a chuckle again, his voice a little groggy because sleep's probably taking over him and it's 2AM in the morning and they have a schedule early tomorrow but sungjae could care less. "care to elaborate more?"
"hyung, it's just-- it's really hard to explain. it's the same kind of love when i see the stars at night. the same kind of love when i sing and dance with you all. the same kind of love when we're together on stage together, performing because you're there with me. but it's not the same kind of love with the members-- it's not the same, it's just so much more and i--"
sungjae suddenly felt soft lips against his and he suddenly feels his heart could explode this moment. and he just sits up and brings changsub into his lap, wrapping his arms around changsub's waist and he suddenly feels alive. he doesn't care what time is it right now because it's just them, that glow in the dark stars on sungjae's cieling and it's perfect. changsub pulls away, trying to breathe but sungjae puts their foreheads together.
"i love you too, sungjae-ah."
(and changsub smiles after that, kissing sungjae passionately-- afraid that his words weren't enough. and he loves it because it's still their little secret, and loves it even more because it's theirs.)
and suddenly, changsub wasn't that boy in the corner of the practice room that fascinated sungjae. he was that hyung that stood by sungjae's side. he was changsub, the changsub that sungjae loved and adored-- he wasn't an unkown boy anymore, but he still fascinated sungjae all he same, probably even more.
they spent dawn kissing and running their hands each other's hair and they both love it like that.
they're both contented, just being in each other's arms.
they're both contented, because they love each other.
A/N: i've posted this on ao3 but i wanted to post it here to but no and will read it anyways so lol
if u guys have an ao3 account im @. changsobbing !!
