BONES AU - PART THREE "The Cannibal in Question"

CHAPTER TWELVE

"Evidence of cannibalism does not necessarily mean-" Scott was cut off by Joe putting a finger up to his mouth.

"Bones, it's Gormogon. Has to be."

Kevin groaned. "Well, who did he eat this time?!"

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A few hours later, the team was gathered around the television, watching Malo on the news with a reporter.

"This is the fifth known victim in the Gormogon murders, all of which have been subjected to ritualized cannibalism." Malo answered.

"He has apprentices?"

"Yes. One at all time to help perform the murders, dispose of the bodies, eradicate evidence. His mission, it seems, is to construct a complete skeleton out of the bones of his vict-" Malo was saying as Kevin turned off the television. He'd had enough.

Scott turned to see Joe thinking. "Joe?"

"Bones, I'm thinking."

"About...?"

Kevin interjected. "Well, it's a pickle. The platform's a crime scene but we need to access it to investigate the crime."

"A 'cake and eat it too' situation." Mitch added.

Kirstie looked confused. "Well is it a cake or a pickle."

Max answered this time. "It's Schrodinger'th Cat."

Kirstie nodded. "That I understand. Cakes and pickles mean nothing to me."

Scott rolled his eyes and looked back at Joe. "Are you paralyzed by the paradox, Joe?"

Kevin pinched Scott. "Look, I'll make this easy. Joe, what do you need first?"

Joe didn't look at him, still in thought, as he answered. "Identity."

Kevin clapped his hands together. "All right, lets go, people!" They all rushed up the stairs, past Joe, and start getting to work on the platform. The team huddled around he mandible and started talking.

"Okay, the tooth sockets may contain enough tissue to check D. N. A." Kevin stated.

Scott didn't look up as he spoke to his intern. "Kirstie, there are markings on this bone that need to be checked out."

Kirstie nodded. "It appears to have been boiled."

"I'll thee if I can pull any mineral traces that can help us determine the water he uthed." Max said before they all dispersed to their working stations.

Joe blinked a few times. "Okay. I, uh, give you all permission to do whatever it is that you squints do. I'll, uh, just... Yep." He said as he broke the crime scene tape and left for home that night.

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After Scott had done everything he could at work, he left and went to Joe's house to confront him personally about his faked death. When Scott barged in he found Joe lounging in the tub, sipping beer from his beer helmet. "I need to talk to you."

"What the hell, Bones! I'm in my house, in my bathroom, in my bathtub!" He yelled as Scott took the needle off the record that was playing. "How the hell did ya get in here anyway?!"

"Well, that fake rock by your front door wouldn't fool anybody. Why are you wearing a hat that dispenses beer?"

"Hot tub, plus cold beer equals warm beer. Hat? Equals solution. So why are you –"

"And that cigar? Very unhealthy."

"Okay, what the hell do ya want now, Bones? Okay? Cause I'm not really feeling too relaxed anymore."

"You should have told me that you weren't dead."

"I already explained this to you. The bureau has to vet everyone when there is a security issue. I was just following protocol."

"Protocol?!"

"Yes!"

"We've been partners for three years, Joe, and you've broken protocol before - sometimes putting my life in danger. Which makes sense because you clearly don't have any real concern for me-"

Joe stood up angrily. "Hey! I took a bullet for you!"

"Once! That only goes so fa-" Scott closed his eyes, realizing Joe was standing nakedly. "Would- Would you like a towel?"

Joe went pink and sank back into the tub. "Fine. What is it that I should have done, Bones? Wha- what did you want me to do?"

"Well, you could have called me. Did you really think I needed to be vetted by your boss? I mean, don't you trust me?"

"Of course I do!"

"Then why wasn't I told. It must have been something that you said."

"No. I don't know why you weren't told."

"But you - you said that I should be. I mean, aren't you curious why I wasn't?"

"Yes! Do you want me to find out why you weren't told?"

"If its important to you."

"Fine. I will. The next time I die, I promise that I will tell you."

"I'll look forward to that."

"Me too." He said as he opened up a 'Green Lantern' comic book and starts reading.

"What are you reading?"

"A novel." He caught Scott's questioning look. "It's a graphic novel."

Scott rolled his eyes. "Whatever. By the way, I find your lack of Puritan modesty very refreshing."

Joe lowered the comic over himself as Scott left, putting the record on as he did so. Once Joe heard the main door close, he mocked Scott.

"I find your lack of Puritan modesty very refreshing. PSH! Whatever that means!"