Give me a reason 🔪💊

New places and New faces?

Dear diary,

A week as gone by since we moved into our new home and I start my new school on Monday morning I will be a new fresh person at the school. I wonder who will fuck with me this school year or how long will my patience will last mom is still drinking every night coming home wasted and taking her frustration out on me and my 2 year old brother every since my dad died almost 3 years ago she as never been the same. Every night is the same routine she slams the door open while tripping over her self, bumping all on the walls making objects fall all on the floor then the anger starts she is yelling at the top of her voice waking up my brother with her yelling about how I should of never been born and things like that I'm use to all of this now i wish that my dad was still here maybe we could be a happy family with out my mom drinking so much...
As I finished writing in my diary I turned off my lamp and went to sleep thinking to my self what will tomorrow bring me.

{Monday morning}
Waken by the sound of my alarm clock I get up and do my normal. I walked down the stairs with Dominic in my arms all dressed ready to go when a heavy smell of  alcohol hits my nose "well I guess mom is home" I said to my self while rolling my eye I walked passed her helpless body grab my keys and went out the door I walked down a couple of blocks to drop Dominic at  his daycare place walked down 2 more blocks to my new bus stop when I got to the bus stop I see 7 people at the bus stop some are in groups talking and laughing while some are just on their phone when the bus pulled up I walked to the back of the bus plugged my  headphones in and started blasted my music. I was the last person to get off the bus as I walked in the school it was way better and bigger then my other high school new faces are everywhere as you walk down the big hallways, A huge flag read "The Main Office" written in white and gold color twist the door knob open and was greeted by a old black lady with short curly hair and glasses "Well I have never seen you before in this school you must be a new student here I am I correct" the lady asked " yes I am I just  transferred  school" I replied back "Ohh yes you must be London Rain" She said happy with a smile. She gave me my class schedule and a small map of the school, My first class was Mr.Gates, he was a War World study teacher when I walked near the door I could hear a lot of talking and laughing going off once I opened the door everybody got quite as I walked into the classroom everybody eyes were on my now I was the center of attention I looked around the room looking for the teacher desk he was looking down grading paper I think. Once I stopped his desk I walked over but as I walked I felt eyes stareing at me the whole time "Well hello Ms.Rain It is a pleasure having in my class I heard from your other school that you were the top student in world war and I hope you can keep that up in this class you may take a seat anywhere you please to". I had found the perfect spot in the back of the class next to a window with a beautiful view. Pulling out my sketch book I started to draw what ever came to my mind and that was seeing my mom drunk out on the floor " your a nice artist" said a deep voice man Looking up to see who said that was a tall brown skin guy with hazel eyes, pink plumed lips,deep black waves and a  nicely built body, " Thank you" I answered still looking into his eyes" no problem but what's your name"
"London what's your" I answered looking down at book "Dominique the name" he answer while taking his hand the pull my face up to look at him and gave me a big smile that made me blush like a tomato When the bell rung he left go of my face"see you later beautiful " Walking down the hall it just kept running though my head "See you later beautiful" I haven't heard that word since my dad died those were his last word to me before he left me. As the day went on it came to lunch I sat in a corner of the cafeteria in the back with my sketch book  when I heard his voice again I look up to see his face "you enjoy drawing don't you" he asked with a raise eyebrow "yea It clears my mind" I answered looking at him with a plain looked on my face "if you don't mind I want to get to know you"." Okay ask away" I answered as I looked back down at my sketch book "Tell me about your self" he asked looking into my eyes "I moved from Maryland to New Jersey with my mom and baby brother" " what about your dad?" I looked up at him "he died about 3 years ago" I answered in a low voice "I'm sorry to here that" "Its fine" we continued to talk until I heard a familiar voice behind me "Its nice seeing you again London" I turn around see Andrew looking down at me just looking at him made me sick thinking about all the times he did me wrong.
6 months ago
"Stop! leave me alone please" I cried out to him "why bitch give me a reason to leave you alone" he replied back in a snapping tone still hitting me while blood started dripping from my face I tried fighting back but it wasn't working the more I tried to fight the harder he would hit me leaving busies everywhere "I hope I don't have to look at you again see you when I see you." Those where the last word he said to me and I never saw him again that night That only thing I could do was cry my eyes out.
Back to the story
My whole body went stiff  and my skin got pale  "London are you okay"Dominique asked  in a concerned voice "... Y-yea" I couldn't even find my word after that I went back into deep thoughts when Andrews voice interrupted my train of thought "I never would think that I would ever see yo face again" he said getting closer to my face I pushed his face away from mine until he grabbed my wrist and moved my hand from his face and pulled me out of my seat "don't forget that I beat your ass and don't think I won't do it again do you understand me bitch" he said while taking both my arms putting them above my head with all his strength so I could move while the other hand had a grip on my face making me look into his eyes " Get tf off her Andrew" Dominique snapped at Andrew I never seen somebody get so mad before. Dominique jumped over the table pushing him off me "What do you think your doing nigga" "why do you care so much for this ain't got shit to do with you" Andrew snapped back at Dominique "I don't give a fuck you don't put yo hand on a girl like that no matter what the situation is you a pussy just for that get yo ass out of here" Andrew walked off while the crowd looked at him Dominique came over to me after the whole incident "are you okay wtf was that all about" "I don't want to take about it right now" hot tries started running down my face then I took off into the bathroom, I ran straight into a stall and tears just wouldn't stop falling from my eyes I starting thinking to myself "what a great way to start off the first day at a new school now I have to see Andrews face almost every day... What will happened to me if Dominique isn't there the next time how will it end can this day get any worse" I stayed in the bathroom for half a hour I went to my last class and sat in the back wish this day could end sooner.
After school
After picking up Dominic from daycare I got home gave him his dinner, a bath,then put him to bed. Locked up the house went in my room closing and locking my door I went in my top shelf grab my old diary and pulled the blade out turned on my side lamp and started cutting away on my stomach where no one would every look a heavy amount of blood started to drip down my side the more cuts more of the pain stopped tears came down my face once again as I whispered softly "I'm sorry dad, I'm so sorry" the more I repeated it the harder I would cry.....