Just One More

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Just one more. He tells himself. One more and I’ll stop. Of course, he’s repeated that so many times before, he no longer believes it. He clings to the thought anyway. The birds singing mock him, almost as if they know what he has done and scorn him for it. He tries not to remember, but it comes through anyway, like a slide on a projector.

The first one had been young. *Snap* Scared. Alone. So beautiful. Just like Josie was… no. He promised himself he wouldn’t think about that anymore. Another memory invades his thoughts.

*Snap* A boy. Older, in his teens. Angry at the world and so willing to go along with someone who looked so well adjusted. If only he had known.

*Snap* A young woman. Alone in an alley. Panic visible on her face as she spots him. Relief when she looks at him a second time. A bloodied hand reaching out. 

*Snap* A man in a car. Middle aged. Marriage falling apart. This one talked more than the others. Rambling about nonsensical things. The others had just cried.

*Snap* A redhead in the woods. 

*Snap* A boy in the red light district.

*Snap* Josie on the bathroom floor.

*Snap* Josie covered in blood. 

*Snap* Josie in the hospital. 

*Snap* Josie. 

*Snap* Josie. 

*Snap* Josie. Josie Josie Josie Josie Jos- NO! He could fix it this time! There! A woman on the bridge. Alone. Crying.

He pulls her back just as she steps of the ledge, holds her to him as she calms down, thanking him for stopping her. He hails a taxi and pays him to take her to a hospital. As it pulls away, he realises it didn’t fix it. Josie was still gone. But the next one might make it easier. Just one more.

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